Off The Cuff: A wry look at life

The things people say. And what they really mean. A parent's immortal phrase, since you won't listen to me, go ahead and do what you want. Uttered in that unmistakable tone of voice. You are making a big mistake if you ignore the underlying threat - of your coming to a sorry end if you go ahead. Do you really know anyone who went ahead and did as they liked? And lived to tell the tale?
I wish people would say what they mean. Makes life so much simpler. No confusing signals. Such as when people say something but mean the exact opposite.

At a meeting, the boss has just finished his spiel and outlined the company's objectives just in case his employees have lost sight of their goals. And then comes the seemingly refreshing 'feel free to agree or disagree'. Followed by those ominous words. Any suggestions?

And then you see the unforgettable sight. Of someone preparing to commit hara kiri. Of some brave soul (or just an incredibly naïve person) actually going ahead to state his opinion which, needless to say, is dramatically divergent from that which has just been expressed. His freedom of speech is greeted with a yawning silence. He suddenly sees the faces around him, carved in stone. And realisation dawns. Too late to undo the damage.

He can be reasonably sure that his 'opinions' will give food for much thought. Hard to digest. But regurgitated at every possible opportunity. The sudden hush as he passes by a group of colleagues. A sudden change of conversation. Well, we live and learn. By the next meeting, this eager beaver will have taken a vow of silence. To speak only if spoken to. And only in monosyllables. I strongly feel such people should be read their rights. Anything you say can and will be held against you.

On the other hand, never take me seriously if I say something casually, like drop in any time you're passing by. People have been known to do that. Drop in. Every time they passed by. Which was roughly around thrice a week. Such 'literati' choose their moments. Just as I am about to have a long soak in the tub. In preparation of which I have put on this gooey face mask which makes me look like the (wo)man from Mars. Or just as I am looking forward to lounging in my favourite armchair wearing my grungiest clothes and watching that movie I just haven't had the time for. That's when the doorbell rings. Shrilly.

Somehow I can always make out from the sound of the doorbell who it is. Intuitively. So I rush to wash off that green gunk on my face. But wait a minute. Maybe I shouldn't. That just might be the way out I'm looking for. Throw open the door. I can see in my mind's eye, the visitor stepping back in horror and making a dash for the stairs, not bothering to wait for the lift. See how complicated it gets. If you don't know whom to believe and what to believe in.

At another level, you have the rash words spoken. And life is never the same again. Words which elicit the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god. A wife has just tried out a new hairstyle. Daringly different. Without consulting her husband who had once told her in a rash moment that he loved every hair on her head. She asks her bitter half what he thinks of it.Imagining his doing a double take and declaring that never has anything suited her better. What she gets is a cursory glance followed by 'I don't think it suits you. Maybe on someone younger'. She comforts herself with the thought that what he knows about fashion would just about fill a thimble with room to spare. But the comment rankles. A relationship floundering on her new waves.