Off The Cuff - A wry look at life

A sneaking admiration for an older sibling. Of course, you would rather die than acknowledge this. As children, it could have been something as simple as your elder sibling being able to blow huge bubbles with bubble gum which enveloped his face while you tried and tried till you went blue in the face but were never able to make as impressive a bubble. So the admiration grew for his superior skills and dexterity, which you spent most of your waking hours trying to emulate, if not outshine.

Then you grew some more. And the competition flourished. He was still stronger and taller. And however hard you tried, you just could not match up to him. There was the inevitable bullying and teasing, the prerogative of the older sibling. And even as you conceded might was right, it still didn't seem quite a logical explanation. So you waited to grow up. Somehow imagining yourself becoming bigger and stronger while your older brother stayed the same size. And you outgrew him by leaps and bounds. The stuff of childhood dreams.

And then the unthinkable happened. Suddenly, one day, you realised that you were taller and stronger than your brother. In spite of the fact that you towered over him, somehow you still couldn't find it in yourself to take on his role. That's when you realised that it wasn't all about size. That age did matter.

I know a pair of brothers who illustrate the point I am trying to make. Poles apart in character and build. The elder of the two an introvert. The younger extrovert somehow always in awe of the silent one. But when they were younger, things were very different. The younger one was short for his age and bullied mercilessly by the older. Frustrated with his inability to stand up to his brother, the younger one became the artful dodger. Taunting the older one from a safe distance and then running away as fast as he could.

In the final year of school, the younger one suddenly shot up, sprouting several inches and lo and behold, soon he was a head taller than his nemesis. Would the tables be turned now? Apparently not. Because habits die hard. Fear and respect now an inherent part of his psyche.

He find himself emerging from his chrysalis, with a gift for repartee and riposte. Making friends and family laugh with his antics and glib tongue. Endearing himself to many. While the older one looks on. As reticent as ever. But seemingly content that the younger one has found himself. Developed an identity.

But even as the younger one finds himself the life and soul of any social gathering, hears the appreciative laughter gently lapping around him, he finds himself looking around. For big brother. As if seeking approval. One quiet smile meaning more to him than the gales of laughter emanating from his circle of admirers.

Time goes by. Both do well in life, in their respective professions. Raise families. And the bond remains. And so does the admiration. They are both adults now, on equal footing. But those childhood memories still colour their relationship. The awe is there still. Nothing can take that away. The wives of the brothers unable to understand the strength of this bond. A bond forged on the anvil of shared experiences and memories. It's not as if this is a relationship which fails to see flaws. It goes beyond that. It sees through to the heart of each other. They know that wherever they may be, however far apart, whoever they might become, the bond between them will transcend any superficial obstacle. After all, blood is thicker than water.