Making chores fun

Getting children to do chores can be made easy provided you make them a fun thing and not punishment

By Dr. Onita Nakra
Family time is at such a premium nowadays that many parents would prefer to spend the few precious moments they have playing or reading with their children, rather than battling with them to do chores. But if chores are something the family does together as a team, they not only become fun but a way of spending time with your children.

Never present chores as a punishment but rather as something the family does as a matter of habit. It is entirely a question of building a routine early on so that clearing up the plates after dinner becomes automatic and not drudgery.

Moreover, if parents want their children to adopt a cheerful attitude towards house-work, it would help to pay closer attention to one's own attitude. If you tend to grumble a lot or shout orders at your children, then you are hardly communicating the feeling of camaraderie and togetherness.

Children are quick to pick up a sense of friendly co-operation from watching their parents and how they run the home.

"Chores hurt kids only when they are excessive, beyond the child's ability or assigned to kids in a demeaning manner," says New York child expert Leon Hoffman.

Be sure to leave enough time for downtime because you want to teach responsibility, not increase your child's stress. Hoffman suggests parents should evaluate their child's overall workload and assess the number of hours she spends on homework, extracurricular activities, and playtime.

Children under the age of three have fewer academic demands but need more time to play because it helps them build their problem-solving, language and social skills.

They also feel easily overwhelmed by what may seem a simple task such as "clean up your room". Break down the task into simpler, concrete steps such as "put blocks in the bin" or "books go on the shelf", and be prepared to join in.

Toddlers also need lots of time to learn and practise these skills, so find moments when you are not feeling pressurised.

Should parents pay their children to do chores? The answer to this varies from family to family and depends on personal value systems and philosophy.

Some parents feel that payment helps to prepare children for the real world; others believe that doing chores is part of the business of being a family member.

Most parents compromise: they don't pay for doing regular chores (cleaning up the room, drying the dishes) but for bigger projects such as cleaning up the garage. Instead of offering monetary rewards, many parents prefer treats such as a family lunch or a weekend trip.

Also keep in mind that most children will tend to grumble about doing chores, so it's important for parents to learn the art of offering gentle but firm reminders rather than yelling. All children (and some adults!) would put off taking the garbage out till the last minute, and need to be nudged into helping out. Say something like, "I need that done before Friends starts".

With older kids, you can show them the consequences of their actions. If your teenager forgets to do the laundry, let her run out of clean socks. If everyone in the family begins to grumble and protest, it's time to have a family meeting and ask, "What needs to change around here?"

The goal is to find a formula that works for everyone in the family. Remember too that the end result of doing chores is not just a clean house – it is about creating kids who feel more responsible, capable and take pride in their own accomplishments.

How to make chores less of a drag:

* Give kids their own laundry baskets for clothes.
* Lower the cupboard bars so that kids can hang up their things more easily.
* Keep snacks, cereals and unbreakable dishes in an easy-reach area so that children can help themselves.
* Pick up tips from your child's pre-school: bags, baskets, and bins are a great way of storing toys and stray items.
* Keep bed-making simple – skip the top sheet and use a fitted sheet and comforter.
* Plan with another parent to get your kids together to 'spring clean' on weekends. Kids love cleaning up each other's rooms, rather than their own.
* Play loud music while working.

Dr. Onita Nakra has a Ph.D. in Educational Psychology from the University of Minnesota, U.S.A. Her specialisation is in assessment, diagnosis and intervention methods for children with special needs.