Healed by a 
baring of the soul

The words and phrases embroidered on Sara Al Haddad’s canvases voice her innermost thoughts and reveal emotions that she has always tried to hide from the world. The deliberately untidy needlework with plenty of knots and loose ends, which often makes the words barely legible, is a metaphor for the fragile and confusing thoughts and feelings that lie buried deep in her subconscious.

But creating these pieces for her first solo exhibition has been a therapeutic process that has helped the young Emirati artist deal with a surge of emotions. The show, titled “Bursting at the Seams”, has enabled her to release the negative feelings bottled up inside her and to resolve her inner conflicts. Although Al Haddad’s work is deeply personal, everybody can relate with the feelings she has expressed. The essence of her message is that we must accept the knots and tangles we encounter in our life as part of the beauty of our existence and even though our life or our world may be torn apart, we must always believe in our ability to stitch things together again. Although her message is positive, the artist admits to being quite a pessimist. “I am always filled with self-doubt and harbour lots of negative thoughts. I am also very sensitive and get easily hurt by people’s words or actions. But I have realised that if I keep all this negativity inside me, someday it will just burst out. So I use my art to bring out these feelings and talk about them to fill the void created by negative interactions with various people in my life,” she says.

Al Haddad studied graphic design at the American University in Dubai, but she prefers to work with her hands rather than using digital technology. “I enjoy working with materials such as thread and yarn because I love to feel the textures. And I really enjoyed learning to stitch, because the process is so meditative. It gives me comfort and the time to contemplate unresolved emotions and to understand and accept my innermost feelings. It makes me calm and happy, and completing each piece gives me a wonderful sense of accomplishment,” she says. “But I do not fuss over making my work neat. To me these knots, loose ends and imperfections are all part of the process. This is what makes my work real. I don’t want my pieces to look too clean like digital works. I want them to reflect real life with all its imperfections.”

The words express her fears and insecurities and also her efforts to overcome them. The colours of the threads reflect her moods and the intensity of her feelings. Through the knots and loose ends, some of the words appear to have been erased, perhaps to form new words or to find new meanings.

“These words come straight from my heart. One of the first pieces I made was ‘Oversensitive’ because whenever I complain about being hurt, my friends and family tell me that I am oversensitive. Other phrases that personify me are ‘What if’ and ‘There’s always a but’, because being ever the pessimist, I always expect things to go wrong. But one of my favourites is ‘It’s Okay’. I did it as a reminder to myself that even if things do not work out it is OK; and it is OK to feel sad or to cry. And I want to convey to everybody that we should not deny our feelings and that it is okay to feel whatever you feel,” she says.

Some of the phrases speak about social issues. For instance “Serious Misjudgement” refers to our biases and preconceived notions that lead us to make wrong judgments about others based on superficial things such as the way they dress or look; and “I want more” comments on the ever-growing consumerism and greed in our society. Another thought-provoking statement that people are often reluctant to make is “I was wrong”.

The display also includes a knitted and crocheted wall hanging. One part of it is made up of black and grey patches stitched together, but with plenty of holes and loose ends; and partly draped over it is a neatly knitted white cape. “This piece is about the coming together of the negative and positive inside us. I am a pessimist and create negative feelings on a daily basis. It is a big part of me and I believe I must accept it. So, these dark patches are the negative thoughts that keep going through my mind. The holes are the emotions that negative thoughts feed on and that cannot be filled however much I try. The heavy white cape conveys positive thoughts that unexpectedly appear from nowhere and break the cycle of negativity and are overwhelming in a positive way,” she says.

Al Haddad has placed many of her pieces around the gallery for visitors to discover, ponder and interact with. These include crocheted covers on door knobs and side tables as well as a pink knitted doll seated on a chair. “This doll is a self-portrait, and the safety pins on it are the negative emotions and insecurities that I am flaunting. I have deliberately used pink instead of a dark colour to suggest a different way of thinking about the negativity within us and, as one of my pieces says, ‘finding comfort in the uncomfortable’. I enjoy it when visitors move these things around and interact with them. And it is wonderful that people can relate to something that is so personal,” Al Haddad says.

Jyoti Kalsi is an arts enthusiast based in Dubai.

“Bursting at the Seams” will run at The Pavilion, Gallery 1, until February 7.