Yo! Blair - go on holiday and see if anyone notices

Yo! Blair, take a piece of advice and go on holiday. If you seriously think that your opinion on the Middle East is worth the paper a Labour campaign pledge is written on, then Yo! Blair, think again. It's not that British policy is ridiculed. It's worse. There is none. Anything even masquerading as coherent British policy (giving a nod and a wink to Israel and refusing to call for a ceasefire is not a coherent policy) would be a fine thing.

Yo! Blair, your inability to compete for George W. Bush's attention when he was eating some bread rolls should have sent some alarm bells going off .

I know, Bush has a lot on his febrile mind these days but Yo! Blair, believe me you are not one of them. Nobody gives a camel's spit in a desert sandstorm whether you go on holiday or not. Your presence is not required. Neither Israel nor Washington care what you say, think, speculate on, divulge or ponder.

You are not a blip on their radar of concern. You have shown no indication over the past few weeks that you have any influence whatsoever on the tragic events unfolding.

Now, there may be a ceasefire in the next few days but it will have nothing to do with you. And if you believe for even a single moment that a truce was in any way achieved because of your action in postponing your holiday then you are delusional.

Is there one player in the current crisis that takes you seriously as a politician who can deliver? Nobody in Israel or Lebanon cares if you take a summer holiday or not. Ask the military planners, ask the refugees.

Besides, was it not just faintly ridiculous that you even countenanced going on a summer holiday during one of the biggest foreign policy crises Britain has faced since Suez and leaving the hapless John Prescott in charge?

Yo! Blair, another thing to consider when building your sand castles. When you do finally return from your holidays more and more people in Britain are looking forward to wishing you bon voyage.