Off The Cuff: a wry look at life

"Sorry to bother you, but do you speak Hindi," asked the motorist as I was gingerly trying to cross the very, very busy side road late evening in our residential area, which incidentally is neither golden nor sandy.

In the passenger seat sat a woman, apparently the motorist's wife, and she was holding a baby. She looked straight ahead with a bored expression on her face. The back seat was jam-packed with the rest of the brood, who looked equally bored. The man must have been driving around for hours for them to get that glazed look.

I said "no", without a moment's hesitation. But it come out in Hindi, and funnily enough the man said "atcha", which is "ok" in Hindi, and we went our different ways.

In another incident, as I was haggling over a 20 dirham leather wallet at a shop in Karama, a man suddenly walked up to the salesman attending to me. Loudly, just in case I was hard of hearing, he said the wallets which he bought from here earlier, are a hot-seller and he wanted three more.

I have been scammed in places as far apart as Mumbai and New York, so I sort of know what con trick is being set up.

Unfortunately for the scam artists they seem to be running out of ideas, including the snow jobs on the World Wide Web. But the conmen still keep trying, hoping for that sucker who apparently is born every minute.

I was aware of the first scam as a very similar one was set up very convincingly in front of a bookstore in Riyadh.The bearded gentleman, speaking in an apologetic tone, asked me if I could please help him. (The beard part is essential for this to work, as it denotes respectability and spirituality in most cultures).

He said he had driven here from Bahrain (the vehicle was nowhere in sight) to see his brother who was in deep trouble with his company and was being deported. Bad luck seemed to run in the family, as he in turn was supposed to have been robbed of all his belongings while at a gas station, and now didn't have money for gas to drive back home.

I gave him a couple of riyals, he said thanks and just before walking away, asked me for my post office box number or contact number so that he could repay me. (I suppose that was just in case there was a chance for a second fleecing).

Then suddenly there seemed to be a rash of people getting robbed and not able to get back where they came from. Adding the family in the car is a latest twist. It must be hard work for everyone involved. Working in retail, even for minimum wage, would not be that hard, I am sure.

The second scam happened to my friend in Mumbai (besides the underworld, this commercial capital of India is known for its textile mills).

A man selling shirt material on a pavement seemed to be doing roaring business, as he was surrounded by eager shoppers. As soon as my friend managed to get through the crowd, the man got even busier, and the bale of cloth seemed to be shrinking fast.

The price was very attractive and my friend managed to get enough material for a couple of shirts.Of course, after one wash, the cloth shrunk to the size of a hanky.

Even businessmen, who are supposedly savvy, shrewd and street-smart, have been hoodwinked by one wonderful scam that preys on their greed.

As everyone knows by now, it involves the wife of a deposed strongman in Africa. The funniest is the one where your money is supposed to double by black magic. The sad part is that it still works.