Women choose to put their mind over marriage

Dubai: At 18, Anita D'Cunha left her home and family in Mumbai, India, to travel to the UAE with the love of her life.

A fresh high school graduate, she was encouraged by her parents to stay at home and complete university, but Anita and Edward had other plans. He wanted to work in the UAE and she wanted to be with him. The young couple married and jetted off to Dubai.

Thirty-one years later, they're still happily married, but she told Gulf News: "If I could change my life I would go to university. I would have a degree in my hand."

While D'Cunha's parents encouraged her to go to university and postpone marriage, it is not uncommon for young women in collective cultures, such as those in the Middle East and Asia, to experience pressure from their family to marry.

More and more women in the UAE, however, are continuing their education instead of rushing into marriage, thanks to their family's support.

Emirati Amnah A. N., 23, says that her family supported her decision to further her education, but that nowadays traditions regarding marriage differ from family to family and not so much according to culture.

"Sometimes [families] use pressure indirectly by emphasising the disadvantages of an academic or career choice rather than the advantages, but we have to resist," Amnah said, regarding family influence in education and marriage.

James Paul, 56, high school principal at Our Own English High School in Fujairah said: "It would be more prudent, in this day and age, to allow a woman to get a well-rounded education before she takes on the onerous responsibility of raising a family as this would bolster her self-esteem, enrich her mind and make her a better role model and academic mentor for her children."

Tough competition

Paul, an Indian, described today's woman as being, "ambitious, forward-thinking [with] dreams and aspirations that transcend the conventional role of child-bearer and home-maker."

Trevor De Sousa from India, 42, said that with men and women competing for the same jobs, "women need to be able to stand on their own feet in case anything happens and they need to support themselves."

He said that postponing marriage to continue studying and build a career should be encouraged among young women, just as women in Dubai and Abu Dhabi have reached high positions in the Federal National Council.

Pakistani Nasir Iqbal, 42, agreed that university education is "equally important for women as it is for men" especially since women are "builders of generations."

As a father, Jordanian Daoud Khalaf, 47, said that he always encourages his daughters to continue their education for as long as they would like. He likes knowing that if anything happens to him, his daughters will be able to take care of themselves.

"Marriage can't guarantee that my daughters will be catered for properly. They should finish their education. There is a right time for everything," said Khalaf.

He said: "As Arabs and Muslims, we are very bound to cultures and tradition, but marriage should not be ahead of education. You don't need to sacrifice one for the other."

Turkish Fatih Ermihan, 44, sees that the level of education contributes to the intellect of a couple because they need to cooperate and work together.

While women's level of education and involvement in the work force increases, a lack of education still exists. Egyptian planning manager Mohammad Attar, 35, said: "Ignorance with regard to literacy, knowledge of their rights, and the benefits of education is what contributes to low levels of education in many countries."