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Quality time with self can be likened to a space where one feels rested, rejuvenated, loved, appreciated, where the feeling of contentment is dominant, life feels beautifully lived.

We often have these moments, though in snatches, till the so-called ‘real life’ takes over. These snatches of rest and rejuvenation happens when one is self-present, meaning one is connected with self fully; in love and appreciation.

Self-presence is a gift; it is a gift of pausing, acknowledging and being in communion with the moment to live all aspects of it. Presence heals. Pausing is a method toward presence and self-connection.

In the rush of life, one tends to get disconnected from self. This happens when disproportionate degree of attention is placed on the external world, may be by way of excessive social media consumption, and/or too much news and information involvement or in letting multiple thoughts cloud over the mind (mental rush). There can be physical rush also in moving from place to place, in social gatherings. One can feel emotionally rushed too, in seeking fulfilment from outside sources and substances. When outer influences take over, ripples of disconnect is felt.

Enjoying the company of self

This is a clue then, to come back ‘home’, connect to self, and enjoy the company of self. In that, engagement with the outer world becomes a matter of choice, not compulsion.

Pausing allows one to connect and rediscover self. It enables cutting off from the unnecessary influences/energies of the external world to help focus on self-abilities, capabilities and inner strengths. It allows connecting with one’s own inner guidance and inner voice.

Pausing is an experiential practice, understanding it theoretically is like learning to swim by reading books. When one practices, one owns that experience. Here are a handful of areas where ‘pausing’ can be practised in daily life:

Pause from the rush of the day. Connect to your breath, ‘listen’ to it. This brings clarity, and reboots/rejuvenates your energy system.

Pause to connect with your body. Offer appreciation to its functioning. Your body is home to your soul for a certain period of time, helping it to evolve.

Pause, give gratitude to the Mother Earth, who has graciously offered her physical space to your physical body that is serving your soul-consciousness growth.


Pause to connect with your feelings and emotions. Pick one difficult emotion that you have been avoiding, spend some time with it, without getting attached. This will cut its fear and hold over you.

Pause and familiarise deeper with your challenges and joys. You will get an insight into the role you played in them.

Pause and connect to your potentialities, abilities and capabilities. This will eliminate the need for outside validation.

As you take an action today, pause to assess your intention behind it. Pause to notice the effect/s your intention has in shaping this day and every day, that make up your life.

Today, pause to notice words that you speak. They hold clue to your ongoing vibration/feeling. If the feeling isn’t a good one, reflect, choose words that generate good feelings in the being.

Today, as you make a conscious decision to halt all things for a while, engage in some uplifting self-talk that nurtures your soul. Treat yourself with love, respect and appreciation.

These experiences don’t happen in rush but seek your presence. So, pause. As said, pausing is an experiential practice. The more you practice, the deeper you get to know you, there is immense satisfaction living within this space.

Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is an emotional healer and a forgiveness teacher. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. Her email: