When sibling rivalry turns toxic in UAE: Inside private battles tearing families apart

Dubai: What begins as harmless bickering between siblings can spiral into entrenched hostility that lasts a lifetime if left unaddressed, experts in the UAE have warned.

In one recent case at a Dubai hospital, a 10-year-old girl was brought in by her parents with behavioural changes and escalating rivalry with her 12-year-old sister.
According to Dr Raga Sandhya Gandi, Specialist Psychiatry at Zulekha Hospital Dubai, the child had been expressing feelings of being less valued than her sibling since the age of six. Over the years, those feelings developed into deep-seated resentment.
“She constantly complained about receiving less attention compared to her sibling, blamed her parents for partiality, displayed low confidence, and engaged in attention-seeking behaviours,” Dr Gandi said.

The child’s actions included frequent crying outbursts, damaging her sister’s clothes, hiding her books before exams, breaking toys, picking fights, and even complaining about her parents to extended family members.

“There was no history of mental health issues,” Dr Gandi noted.

“After a detailed evaluation, we began therapy to explore her concerns, introduced cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and conducted family therapy to address the issues.”

Dr Gandi warned that unresolved sibling resentment, if ignored, can harden over time and profoundly shape a person’s personality and relationships.

“In the long term, it can lead to cognitive biases,” she explained.

A shocking case of unresolved resentment also recently surfaced during a community initiative on domestic distress, involving two sisters, both educated and employed, whose relationship had soured to the point of open hostility. One lives in Sharjah, the other in Kerala. If arguments on the phone or video calls fail to settle an issue, it continues when they meet in person for an intense face-off. Their father, unable to mediate, eventually sought professional help.

Dr Salman Kareem, Specialist Psychiatry at Aster Clinic, Discovery Gardens, JLT, and Aster Royal Clinic, Downtown, pointed out that adults carry childhood wounds into their relationships.
“It can happen when parents favoured one child especially in certain patriarchal societies, where males are favoured. This creates deep anger, sadness, and low self-worth that never heals. These feelings explode during stressful times like inheritance disputes or family crises.”

Dr Kareem noted that unresolved sibling resentment can cause constant stress and anxiety, depression and sleep problems, difficulty trusting others, problems in marriages and friendships, and physical symptoms like headaches and stomach issues.

Both specialists stressed the importance of early intervention and open family communication. They underlined that while sibling rivalry is common, allowing it to fester unchecked can result in fractured relationships that extend well beyond childhood, affecting careers, marriages, and mental health.

Verbal abuse: Name-calling, insults, character attacks, gaslighting

Weaponising family: Using parents or other family members as weapons against other siblings.

Complete silence: Refusing to speak for months or years

Public humiliation: Embarrassing each other in front of family/friends

Financial warfare: Fighting over money, property, or inheritance

Threats: Any mention of violence or harm

How families can resolve this:

For the family:

Get professional help immediately – don't wait

Set strict rules: no verbal abuse, no involving children

Focus on solving one issue at a time, not rehashing the past

For individuals:

Accept you cannot change your sibling, only yourself

Set boundaries - limit contact if needed

Get individual therapy to heal your own wounds

Sometimes the healthiest choice is to step away