Off The Cuff: Friends, strangers and the fine art of begging

Persuasion is a powerful tool. Those who haven't mastered it, try the next best thing - begging. They appeal to a fellow human's sympathy, but not rationally. It's a blend of smart PR talk quickly followed by intensely embarrassing gesturing. The fine art of begging in public needs sharp timing and supreme confidence.

My best friend and I have known each other since we were toddlers. She and I did everything together. We were glued at the heart. The one thing I couldn't bring myself to do was beg anyone for anything. Something to do with a lot of misplaced pride. She, on the other hand, was a natural. And she always got her way.

Coming from an extremely conservative household, I didn't dare ask permission to attend school dances. My friend, who came from an equally conservative background, managed with her winning ways to convince her parents to let her go 'just this once' (the first of many).

The pressure was on and I had to come up with permission fast. I mumbled something at home about an 'event' at school that everyone would attend and where I needed to be. At first I was ignored, later very categorically refused permission.

So close to the finish line after all the hard work at her home, my friend was not about to let me off the hook. She said that she would 'talk' to my mother. She came home with me after school one day and started her PR talk the moment she stepped in.

Before I knew it, she sank to her knees in our living room with her hands clasped and simultaneously chanted 'please-please-please' incessantly and with such fervour that my mother really had no choice but to agree, if for no other reason than to shut her up.

When my mother finally turned around, exasperated and with a 'don't you ever pull this on me again' look, I put on my most docile expression and got busy with homework before she could threaten to renege. Don't remember the dance very much, but I do recall the two of us jumping with glee when we got there.

With begging, sometimes initial embarrassment is not followed by success, but humiliating, haunting failure. Santosh was a typical nerd in college. He looked, talked and walked funny. He had no friends and seemed to exist on the fringe of college social life.

So one day, when he walked up to me in the corridor and introduced himself and asked me if I would be his friend, I felt enough sympathy to say yes. I mean 'why not'. Everybody deserves a break. Not true. I didn't see him again for a fortnight.

Between classes and in the middle of a very crowded corridor, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Santosh stood before me, breathless and agitated. He blurted: "Shalini, please marry me or I'll kill myself."

To my horror, the comfortable buzz of conversation around was cut to a heavy silence. All eyes were on us. Santosh was now on his knees and had his hands clasped in front of him and was saying 'please' over and over again.

Fleetingly I recalled the incident with my friend and mother. I thought of divine retribution. I thought of running. Most of all, I thought of the ground opening up and swallowing Santosh.

Instead, I hissed a refusal, turned on my heel and strode purposefully off. My 'friend' Santosh never bothered me again. Hmmm…what's that they say about beggars not being choosers?