Dubai Courts unit helps resolve marital discord

The family counselling section of Dubai Courts has successfully resolved hundreds of potential divorce cases among UAE nationals, while defining the prime factors behind family instability.

The marriages thus saved could be 17 per cent, or even a lot higher, judging by one counsellor's experience.

Wedad Lootah, one of a four-member team of counsellors at the section, noted that since counselling was introduced in January 2001, it has helped save many marriages. She was speaking at a function organised by the Women's Committee's of the Sharjah-based Jurists Association on Tuesday evening to award active committee members.

"The high incidence of divorce in the UAE had prompted the need for family advising units," she said.

"From January to December 2001, I personally looked into nearly 1,000 divorce cases. In 168 of them the couples were reconciled, while 287 other cases were adjourned."

She pointed out the longer it takes to finalise divorce, the more time the husbands and wives have to sort out their differences, for the sake of the family.

"From my experience, I have noticed that most of those who file for divorce come to us in such an angry state that makes them see separation as the only way out."

But if they have no valid reasons for divorce, they are asked to reconsider the matter. "When people are in fury, they tend to take hasty decisions that are often regretted later," she stressed.

However, some 196 couples had reached a point where life between them had become intolerable.

Lootah spoke about the problems that threaten marriages in the country and the role of family counsellors in preventing divorce.

"It is sad how people who loved each other and had lived together for many years, cannot even bear the sight of each other," she remarked. She pointed out the main reasons for divorce were financial problems, wife battering, and the husband's desertion.

Most women who applied for a divorce claimed their husbands failed to meet their financial needs.

"This usually happens when the husband earns a modest salary and has many children so they cannot secure all their requirements," explained Lootah.

She also observed some women are quite unreasonable in their demands. They financially burden their husbands and drown them in debts for their own satisfaction.

"This has been the leading factor behind 148 divorce cases I looked into," she said. Other women complained that their husbands beat them, especially when not in a proper state of mind.

"I have seen some 85 battered wives who had scars and bruises on various parts of their body," said Wedad.

She said in other cases, the husbands' absence from home had driven their wives to seek divorce. The husband's desertion was sometimes linked to another affair he had. In a few other cases, the woman would ask for divorce when her husband marries another.

The Dubai Courts Family Counselling Section has also been receiving cases transferred to it from other emirates. However, priority is often given to clients who work or live in Dubai, the official said.

She emphasised the need for family counsellors to greet their customers with a cheerful smile, and make them feel comfortable to help them to approach their problems positively instead of seeking divorce.

She maintained in most circumstances the reasons cited for divorce are irrelevant, and urged married couple to think twice before reaching that stage.

Parents, she stressed, must take into account the negative consequences of divorce on their children. She added the key to having stable a marriage is to adhere to religious principles, which help to secure happy and stable homes.