Dreams of a poet

Sajid Ghazi, who works with Dubai Aluminium Company (Dubal) and dreams of becoming a recognised English-language poet one day.

The village was called ‘the sack school' because there were no classrooms in the conventional sense of the term:

We would sit on our ‘sacks' – school bags – to protect our undersides from the earth's scorching heat, and use the trees as shelter from the summer sun.

Pieces of cloth [remnants of garments used in tailoring] from the local tailor's shop were blessings in disguise, because they were stitched together to make these ‘sacks'.

My father is illiterate. His main source of income comes from tilling the fields and tending cattle. My house was small and crammed and the word ‘privacy' meant nothing to us.

The hardship spurred me on to study.

In spite of all the hardship, I was determined to do well in my studies. During most of my school years [Government High School, Kathala Chenab] I enjoyed being the top student in my class.

As an individual, I have always had this overwhelming desire to be outstanding and different from my rather ordinary surroundings. This I knew could be achieved only with passion and focus.

I wanted to be a part of a wider community rather than remain stuck amid the surroundings of my little village.

Although Urdu was the medium of education in school, I felt it was important to know an international language.

I decided to pursue my college education [at the Swedish Pakistan Institute of Technology in Gujarat, Pakistan] in English in spite of my limited knowledge of the language.

All the other students preferred to study in Urdu, as the thought of learning in a foreign language terrified them. Everyone condemned my decision.

I became the butt of jokes from my classmates, family as well people of my village. I used to feel extremely isolated. But I stood my ground and faced all the difficulties with equanimity.

The struggles with an international language. There was no institute or individual in my village who was well versed in English to be able to teach me. I felt as if I were walking on a path strewn with thorns and hot coals.

But my determination never let me feel the pain. I sought the English media – BBC (radio and TV) newspapers and movies – for assistance, and purchased an Urdu-to- English dictionary.

I would had imaginary conversations in English with my father's cattle in the fields. I stretched out on the banks of the River Chenab and threw questions at the creatures of the water and provided the answers myself.

I stood on the river's bridge, and imagined I was a famous orator speaking to an audience [which, of course, did not exist]. All this helped boost my confidence that with time, I could do better in the English language. I no longer would feel shy or inhibited.

My devotion to poetry

I started writing Urdu poetry while in the eighth grade. A close friend was annoyed with me over a petty matter. It hurt me. I wrote down my feelings and emotions in the form of verse.

This was the beginning of my journey into the world of poetry and prose, a journey that held only promise but that offered no clear destination.

One day, I decided to try and write an English poem. I realised this would be a daunting task, but I was keen to see it through and summoned all the courage I possessed.

In the beginning, I focused on rhyme. Fortunately, while studying for my graduation exams, I came across random works of a few legendary English poets, which shifted my attention to sense and theme.

Whenever I experienced an inspiring moment, I withdrew to a corner and put my thoughts down on paper.

I did not have a mentor who could examine my writing and enlighten me to its faults. Time was my only teacher and reformer.

Today, I review my poems during my spare time, try to amend flaws and add new ideas to improve my poetry writin skills.

I hope this technique brings me closer to the goals of an aspiring poet – appreciation and recognition.

I am in search of a teacher of English poetry but, so far, my efforts have been in vain. I have met a few professors of English literature who applauded my work, but were not too keen to be the beacons who would guide this ‘drowning' poet to safe shores.

Even in Dubai, I visit places where I can meet English-speaking people and present my poems to them. They shower praise and do offer kind words, but after a few minutes, move away from me.

My eyes follow them until they are out of sight. There are times when I feel dismayed – as though I were being treated with disdain – and I lose courage. But I pull myself up with the words ‘hope is alive with life'.

My involvement with a local NGO ...

... led to a growth in my writing style. Ghazi Chak, being a small farming village, and quite invisible on the map of Pakistan, received scant attention from the government with regard to welfare and basic facilities.

Frustrated with the situation, a group of individuals, including myself, decided to take matters into our hands and have set up an organisation that would improve the standard of living in our society.

The group's aim is to solve community problems by employing available resources; to strive towards self-reliability; to provide basic amenities to the people; to support poor families with regard to the marriage of their daughters', assist in funeral arrangements in the case of a family member's demise in an impoverished family;

To maintain local public places; and air our grievances before government officials and make them aware that their help would be invaluable in implementing welfare projects.

As an NGO, we were successful in introducing a number of schemes.

The water of our village was polluted because the main drainage system that ran parallel to the village emptied into the River Chenab.

We needed an alternative source and therefore installed a water pump and filtering system. People used to cut wood from trees which served as fuel for their cooking fires.

This was damaging our eco-system and the beauty of the river bank. It was a major source of concern.

We coordinated with the local gas supply company to see that every home had a gas connection, and brought an end to the destruction of trees.

We also managed to accumulate funds to reconstruct and maintain a new mosque in the community.

Working with the NGO, I acquired a number of personal skills – dealing with, and convincing, difficult people, the value of perseverance, and setting targets and working towards them.

It is selflessness that helps us rise in life in the long term. As a poet, I started to look at the ‘big picture' of life, instead of focusing on the nitty-gritty.

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