Why a perfume can mean comfort for some and grief for others: UAE experts explain how scent shapes memory

I grew up around jasmines.

 If it wasn’t the flowers that my mother brought home, it would be in the perfumes she, and my grandmother would wear on special occasions. Our home felt like a valley of flowers on some evenings.

You smelled the jasmine scents; you were lulled into believing that somehow, what wasn't alright, would be alright.

 That’s the enchantment of perfumes. They can be bottled memories that we are. Most of the time, they’re comfort and healing.  

 Sometimes, not so much. It’s different for everyone, perhaps. Some would say that they love a little musk.

 Yet it stings my eyes a little, as I’m reminded of a person wearing a heavy dose of it, during a funeral.

 Sometimes, grief arrives as perfume.

 It's the Proustian memory effect, where smells evoke emotionally charged memories. A fragrance can remind you of a loved one, or make you relive a time in your life that you might, or might not want to relive.

 The emotions return all at once.

 We are swept up in the immediacy. And that’s why fragrances can make us tearful, or smile, before we even understand why.

As Dr Diana Maatouk, clinical psychologist at The Hummingbird Clinic explains, the sense of smell is wired into some of the brain’s most emotionally powerful systems. “Unlike sight or sound, which are processed through more rational filtering systems, smells bypass a lot of cognitive gatekeeping. That’s why a fragrance can trigger a feeling before you’ve even had time to think about it.”

 Smell is processed differently from the body’s other senses, explains Dr Olivia Pounds, clinical psychologist in Neuropsychology at The Hummingbird Clinic. While senses such as sight and hearing take a ‘relay route’ through a brain structure called the thalamus before reaching higher cortical areas, smell bypasses the relay altogether.

 Instead, odour molecules activate receptors in the nose, which send signals directly to the olfactory bulb. From there, signals travel into parts of the limbic system, particularly the amygdala, involved in emotion, and the hippocampus, involved in memory.

“Smell has a fast track into the centres of the brain that are linked to emotion and memory,” she says. “It is why smells can be such powerful triggers for emotional memories, and as much as they can trigger reminders of traumatic experiences, they can also remind us of joyful and pleasant experiences.”

 Since smell feeds directly into emotional and memory centres in the brain, it becomes deeply tied to personal experience, Dr Pounds adds. A scent can activate the hippocampus and amygdala, bringing back vivid memories almost instantly.

 One person’s comforting scent, may be another’s grief.  “Body odour can also reflect emotional states, such as stress and fear, and others can unconsciously respond to these cues, shaping the way humans interact and behave,” she says.

 There also appears to be a two-way relationship between smell and mood, with higher rates of depression reported in individuals who experience reduced olfactory function.

 Something like, lemon, and lilies of the valley. Or, bergamot.

 Dubai-based Aashni Mathur freely admits that she doesn’t experiment much with her perfumes. She always opts for the fresh, airy ones. “I don’t know how to explain it. Nothing else works for me, but these few perfumes just make me happy and ready for the day.”

 It smells like home. And what other reason do you need?

 That’s the thing about perfumes: We get conditioned by them too, as Dr Maatouk explains: “Over time, we learn to associate certain scents with safety, intimacy, or pleasure; for example, think of a partner’s fragrance, a parent’s perfume, or even the smell of clean laundry. When we encounter those scents again, the brain replays the emotional ‘meaning’ attached to them, which can create a sense of comfort or wellbeing.”

Ezgi Firat, elaborates further: Fragrances do influence mood, but the effects emerge from a link between biology and psychological associations.  And these emotional connections begin forming far earlier than we realise.

 From infancy itself, scent plays a role in attachment and regulation. “A caregiver’s natural smell can soothe distress and create a sense of safety, and these early associations often persist into adulthood. This is why familiar scents can feel grounding even if we’re not consciously aware of why.”

 At the same time, much of fragrance’s emotional impact is shaped by experience. “Through a process similar to the Proustian memory effect, scents become linked to specific people, places, and emotional states. A perfume worn during a happy relationship might later evoke comfort or longing.”

 The smell of sunscreen might bring back a carefree holiday, while hospital disinfectant could trigger unease. These responses aren’t random; they reflect how the brain has learned to associate scent with meaning over time.

 So rather than being ‘just psychological’ or purely biological, fragrance sits at the intersection of both. It influences mood through direct brain pathways, learned emotional associations, and personal history, often all at once.

A little spritz can take you places. Perhaps a forest, a memory of calm. Maybe a sunlit garden, as  Amandine Nikuze, Vice-President Perfumery, Ajmal Dubai says. “Fragrance has the extraordinary ability to refresh not just the body, but the mind and spirit,” he says, adding that it is the science of olfaction at work.

 The mind softens and the breath steadies, owing to the fragrance. A sense of balance begins to return. He explains that across cultures, certain ingredients have earned a reputation for their soothing qualities. “Lavender is one of the most studied, widely used in aromatherapy for its ability to ease anxiety and support restful sleep. Sandalwood, with its warm, resinous depth, has long been associated with meditation and spiritual grounding, offering a sense of quiet focus. Rose and jasmine, two icons of perfumery are known to uplift the mood while calming emotional tension,” he explains.

 And notes like vanilla or soft musks often create a feeling of comfort and safety, like being wrapped in a peaceful, familiar space.

 Certain notes have an almost immediate calming effect. “They create a sense of ease for both the mind and body,” he says. “Notes like sandalwood, musk and soft florals help slow thoughts and bring a feeling of balance within seconds.”

 It’s also the scent of escape. Nikuze emphasises that one of the most magical qualities of fragrance, is its ability to lift us out of the immediate moment. We step back. We pause. As he says, a well-made perfume is like a small journey, where the opening sparks curiosity, a heart that stirs emotion, and a base that settles into a comfort.” In moments of stress, this progression can feel like a form of mental travel,” he says.

 Freedom could come in the form of light, fresh notes, like acquatics, soft greens and florals. “Their brightness can create a sense of spaciousness, helping the mind feel less compressed by tension,” he says.

While the effect varies from person to person, many people experience these notes as an invitation to breathe more easily and release some of the weight that stress tends to impose.

 The common sentiment wafts around several from the industry.  Anis Abdul Razak, Co-Owner of Rasasi Group and Founder, Canéza agrees: Certain notes do have a grounding quality. They slow thoughts. “It’s become a form of self-expression, based on how they want to feel, whether that’s calm, confident or comforted,” he says.

 There may be biological reasons behind some of these reactions too. “Lavender and vanilla are often associated with relaxation, while citrus notes feel revitalising,” says Dr Maatouk. “These effects are partly learned but may also have mild biological underpinnings through autonomic nervous system responses.”

 Rebecca Carter, somatic and trauma-informed psychotherapist from LightHouse Arabia, notes that aromachology,  the study of how scent influences mood and behaviour has increasingly linked certain fragrance profiles to emotional states. “Research has shown that scents such as lavender, chamomile and sandalwood are strongly associated with calming effects and reduced stress levels,” she says, while citrus notes such as lemon and grapefruit tend to increase alertness and energy. Peppermint and rosemary help concentration and mental sharpness.

 But scent’s emotional power has a darker edge too.

 A perfume doesn’t have to smell putrid for it to wound.

 When a scent becomes linked to a rather traumatic event, it induces feelings of unease and tension without our conscious awareness, explains Carter. “When a smell becomes associated with comfort, loss, love or safety, it can later evoke that same emotional state almost instantly.”

 Perhaps, like a perfume that you smell at a loved one’s funeral. Sometimes, roses might not smell like roses.

 That duality perhaps explains why perfume feels so deeply personal. It is never just about smelling fresh, and sweet. It is about memory, identity, emotional survival and the invisible stories we carry through the world.

 And, when we’re in the constant presence of a certain scent, maybe our feelings towards it can change. As Carter explains, it comes down to the process of neuroplasticity, where the brain continuously reshapes and reorganises itself in response to new experiences. “As a result, we can intentionally pair scents with a desired emotional experience or behaviour to change and strengthen how we emotionally process it,” she says.

 She cites an example: The scent once attributed to a distressing or traumatic experience, can be gradually introduced in a safe environment, to help soften the pain around it. “Similarly, individuals can pair scent with positive routines and practices such as mindfulness, relaxation or sleep to build a calming association with repetition.”

 The more positive and safe experiences we have while experiencing a particular scent, the more likely we will start to attribute this scent to a positive emotional feeling.

 Some feel a burst of confidence with a little spritz, before an interview. A few others might spray themselves in copious amounts, hoping for a better day.

 Perfume today, believes, has evolved far beyond beauty. “People choose fragrances based on how they want to feel, whether that’s calm, confident or comforted,” Nikuze says. “Fragrance has become a form of self-expression.”

It’s a tool to express and create a sense of self, as Carter says. “This aligns with modern self-care trends where one’s personal identity can be actively constructed instead of purely inherited, as well as the focus on personalised rituals and pleasure.”

 If scent has the ability to evoke specific moods, we can see how it becomes an accessible psychological tool to subtly communicate ‘this is who I am’ or ‘this is how I’d like to be experienced’. “As a result, scent is being used to define and create a personal brand and sense of self,” she adds.

 There is also a strong emotional regulation component, where individuals use scent to evoke soothing rituals and mindfulness practices in an increasingly anxiety fueled world, or transition between the domains of work, rest and play. It therefore functions as a micro self-care ritual which is small, repeatable and creates a sense of control.

 So, how do you choose a fragrance for your own peace of mind? Nikuze explains: When choosing a fragrance with wellbeing in mind, the most reliable guide is your own emotional response. Notice how your body reacts: does your breath soften, even slightly? Does the scent make you pause, or invite your eyes to close for a moment? These subtle shifts are signs that a fragrance is aligning with your inner state.

Perhaps that’s why we gravitate towards certain perfumes: They keep old versions of ourselves alive.