The psychology of motherhood

Having a baby can be exciting and enthralling. The bundle of joy can also cause sleepless nights, mood swings, irritability and changes in eating and sleeping habits though. For a new mother, if these symptoms are coupled with sadness and crying for more than two weeks, then she should check in with her GP or gynaecologist to establish if she is suffering from post-partum depression.

Lately celebrities such as Chrissy Teigan, Adele, Brooke Shields and Gwyneth Paltrow have shared their own experiences of post-partum depression. These women are openly discussing what some consider a taboo subject and sharing their coping mechanisms to raise awareness of a condition that affects around 
15 per cent of mothers following childbirth.

“It is important to distinguish between the baby blues and post-partum depression,” explains Dr Ottilia Brown, Clinical Psychologist at Lighthouse Arabia. “The former is quite common in the first week after giving birth and typically does not last longer than two weeks.  

Mothers with the baby blues will report low mood, tearfulness and/or anxiety during this time. They may also report feeling irritable, overwhelmed and have problems with appetite and sleep.”

Post-partum depression can arise any time during the first year after giving birth. The symptoms are more intense and longer lasting than the baby blues.

“Mothers are often embarrassed to admit that they are experiencing symptoms of depression or that they are feeling overwhelmed and not coping with all the demands of motherhood,” explains Dr Brown. 

Societal expectations generally dictate that mothers should have exclusively positive emotions related to the arrival of a new baby and there is increasing pressure to be superwoman and to manage multiple responsibilities. 
Asking For Help

Experts say women need to become more aware of post-partum depression. When new mothers experience any of the afore-mentioned symptoms, they should seek early help. 

They should consult their general practitioner or gynaecologist to investigate whether there are physical factors that may be contributing to the symptoms of depression. 

In addition, mothers should seek professional help from a psychologist. The psychologist will engage in therapy with the mother and work on managing the symptoms and improving coping skills. Therapy can take many forms and can include cognitive-behavioural, be based on mindfulness and interpersonal modalities depending on the initial assessment by the psychologist.

The psychologist will also be able to assess the severity of the condition and collaborate with the mother on whether a referral for medication is required. Anti-depressants are typically prescribed for depression but the prescribing healthcare professional will generally conduct an independent assessment and decide on what is required.

“Support from husband, family and friends should be gentle, thoughtful and without any need for reciprocation from the depressed new mum,” says Dr Tara Wayne, Clinical Psychologist and Clinical Director at Lighthouse Arabia. 
While millions of women feel the baby blues after delivery, there are effective treatments for post-partum depression, including talk therapy and medication. 

These treatments can often reduce or eliminate symptoms. It’s important that women get treatment for the condition, because without treatment, post-partum depression can last for years.

Dr Wayne offers some simple tips to help new parents (not just the mum) cope with post-partum depression

Don’t move into advice-giving mode. Don’t invalidate new parent’s feelings and don’t try to talk them out of what they feel. Accept this is where they are now. 

Don’t expect the new mum to be joyful and don’t express concern if she doesn’t gush over the new baby or if she feels nonplussed or even negative about the baby. Let her know she is loved no matter what and the family will stand by her.

Encourage the new mother to consult a doctor just to have someone to name feelings with, to identify whether her pattern of experiences is the passing baby blues or something more persistent and troubling. 

Take care of the things that can add stress to a new parent such as food, everyday chores, older siblings homework and play dates.

Make sure to support new parents, especially the mum with self-care, ensure they get good nutrition to replenish their vitamins and minerals. Take turns with the new baby overnight to allow mum to get some uninterrupted sleep. Also, organise time for her to relax and spend sometime without the new baby, just focusing on herself.

It’s important to dedicate time for uninterrupted communication. So often new parents get practical and lose connection because they aren’t making time for each other. 

Invite friends and family to drop around for a cup of coffee. Don’t go into doing mode but just be a 
good companion for the new mother.
l Getting outdoors Try to help new parents to head out of the house for a short walk or to a café as it can be therapeutic to be outdoors.