Israel-Doha strikes: How to talk to children about war and violence in the news

They don’t always put their fear into words. But it doesn’t mean they aren’t listening, absorbing the world around them. And wars, conflicts can start rewriting young minds, even if they don’t talk about it.

 And, this anxiety shows up in children in subtle, unexpected ways, as Dr Diana Maatouk, a clinical psychologist from The Hummingbird Clinic explains.  “Even when children do not talk about stressful global events such as wars or pandemics, they can still internalise anxiety from adults, social media, and peers,” she says.

It comes through in the behaviour: A normally extroverted child, becomes quiet, perhaps. Maybe, they withdraw from the activities that they love, or show signs of regression and fear, such as wanting to sleep with parents.  Some may act out through tantrums or aggression. Others may carry the stress in their bodies, developing stomach-aches, headaches, or sleep disruptions. Teachers may notice dips in concentration or motivation at school.

In short: silence doesn’t always mean safety.

 When global crises dominate headlines, many parents wonder: Should I bring this up with my child? And if so, how?

Dr Maatouk reassures parents that difficult conversations should not be avoided. The goal is to create a safe space for honesty and reassurance without burdening them with more than they can emotionally process, she explains.

 Instead of jumping into explanations, she recommends starting with curiosity: “First find out what the child already knows or thinks.” From there, parents can gently correct misinformation, use age-appropriate language, and remind children they are safe. Importantly, it’s okay to pause if a child feels overwhelmed. “Parents can say: ‘We don’t have to talk about this now, but if you ever want to, I will always be ready to listen.’”

Every child processes global events differently, depending on their stage of development. Maatouk breaks it down:

Early childhood (3–6 years): Keep explanations short, simple, and concrete. Focus on reassurance and safety. Avoid exposing them to news.

Say: “There was a big fire far away. Some people got hurt, but helpers are taking care of them. You’re safe, and we love you.”

 Middle childhood (7–10 years): Children are curious but still prone to misunderstandings. Correct gently, explain clearly, and give examples of helpers.

Say: “Yes, people are getting sick. Doctors and nurses are helping, and we’re washing our hands to stay healthy.”

 Tweens (11–13 years): They begin to understand injustice and mortality, which can feel overwhelming. Be honest, validate emotions, and channel their concern into action.

Say: “It’s sad to see people suffering. It’s okay to feel worried. Do you want to talk more—or even find a way to help?”

 Teens (14–18 years): Capable of abstract thought, teens need honest, open-ended conversations. Respect their independence while still offering emotional safety.

Say: “There’s a lot going on in the world. What are your thoughts about it? You don’t have to handle this alone.”

 Parents often fear saying the wrong thing. Should they shield their kids from the truth? Or risk scaring them with too much honesty?

 Dr Maatouk suggests a middle ground: “Using honest, comforting, and age-appropriate language is all about finding the balance between truth and emotional safety.”

 For younger children, this means short, simple phrases with repetition: “Sometimes people get sick. That’s why we wash our hands—to stay healthy.” For teens, respect and validation matter most—avoid dismissing their worries or oversimplifying.

 When children ask direct questions like “Will we be okay?” or “Why are people fighting?”, honesty matters. For younger ones, reassurance is key: “You are safe now. Grown-ups are here to look after you.” For older children, acknowledge their fears: “It’s normal to feel worried. Right now, we are safe, and many people are working hard to make sure things are okay.”

 And yes—it’s okay not to have all the answers. “Saying ‘I don’t know’ models honesty, humility, and emotional resilience,” Dr Maatouk says.

 The hardest questions often circle back to loss. “Handling children’s questions about death, destruction, or displacement is delicate,” Dr Maatouk acknowledges. Tell the truth without overwhelming them. Simplify and soften explanations, acknowledge sadness, but avoid fueling fear. For younger children, stories and metaphors ease the panic.

 When the world feels unstable, what children need most is the steady presence of a calm adult.

 “Even when we can’t control global events, we can provide the emotional regulation and connection kids need to feel secure,” says Maatouk. Limiting exposure to distressing media, keeping routines, and showing calmness help children feel grounded.

 And finally, give them hope. “Children feel safe when they can also feel useful. Small acts—like making donations, writing kind notes, or creating something—can restore a sense of agency.”

 In the end, explaining war or conflict to a child isn’t about shielding them from reality—it’s about holding their hand through it. With honesty, calmness, and compassion, parents can give children what they need most in uncertain times: the sense that no matter what happens, they are not alone.