Life in the funny lane: Marc Lottering

If there's someone who's supposed to know what's funny, it's Marc Lottering, one of South Africa's premier stand-up comics. "South Africa's top comedian, Julius Malema, was booked, but he couldn't make it," Lottering said (referring to the ANC's controversial Youth League leader) to rapturous applause on Friday night, his debut performance in Dubai.

"There are a lot of concerned comics in South Africa at the moment," he told tabloid! on Thursday, less than two hours after landing in Dubai. "There's a sense of panic, what with the political yo-yo we've seen over the past year or so. It's like our material is written for us. Writing comedy was a lot easier when things were a tad calmer.

"‘Funny' or ‘comedy' is what makes you laugh, and mostly I've been good," he said, tempering this egotistic statement with a broad smile. "As a comedian, you share stories with the audience to make them laugh and to make them feel good. And sometimes you realise what was funny when you were lying naked in the bath isn't that funny after all..." After a pause, he continued. "But maybe the joke would be funny if I got naked in front of the audience... Let's see what happens in Dubai," he joked.

Lottering didn't have to shed his clothes to have the crowd at Chi in stitches. His risqué jokes did the job and drew as many gasps as bellows of laughter. One almost expected Lottering to be hauled off stage by burly policemen when he transformed into Auntie Merle Abrahams from Belgravia Road in Athlone, Cape Town — complete with floral dress, pink headscarf and matching clutch — but the good-natured old lady went down a treat. His portrayal of Smiley the guartjie — or minibus taxi fare collector — was equally successful.

"They definitely weren't joking when they said the term ‘skyscraper' was invented for Dubai," Lottering said. "It surely is a sexy city."

Looking forward to spending the day exploring Dubai, I asked if there was anything specific he wanted to do. "When I'm in a new city, I like to take a cab into a happening spot and then just wander around aimlessly. And from the looks of it, Dubai's a city you can lose yourself in."

‘Reminded of home'

Coming off a show in Sydney, Australia, and Jeddah, Saudi Arabia — "I'm the first comedian to have performed there" — he said he was "pleasantly surprised" by latter city. "I was blown away. I expected Saudi to be a mobile toilet and a whole lotta sand! My jaw literally dropped. It reminded me of Rio, actually — and I'm probably one of the few people in the world who'd say that, but it did... The colours, the buildings, density...

"I was also reminded of home. With all the guns at the checkpoints, for a minute I thought I was in Jo'burg at just another traffic light — I was ready to bolt, thinking they were gonna hijack the car," he laughed. "But it's an interesting lifestyle."

Walking around Dubai Mall, Lottering was stopped a number of times by adoring fans. "The hair helps outside South Africa," he said, running his hand through the hair that's as recognisable as his name. "Growing up, my mum told me there was a blonde curl above my left eye — I'm still waiting for it to grow out!"

In the business for the last 12 years, Lottering said he doesn't get as anxious as in the early days. "You get to know yourself better, you become more grounded and it's less chaotic mentally. But this doesn't mean you don't still fart uncontrollably before the show," he joked.

His "thank God moment" was a TV advert for Nando's that's still popular on YouTube. "I still have people come up to me and say, ‘You're the half-naked guy from the ad!' I think I'll put that on my tombstone — ‘Peri-peri nice!'"

Back on the topic of being funny, Lottering said even he doesn't know what makes someone falling in public funny. "It's not supposed to be funny, but we take pleasure out of it , because it's you and not me who fell. It's even funnier when they then look at the ground accusingly, as if it had moved or something.

"Everyone leopard-crawls on a bar once in a while," he jokes, talking about a particularly embarrassing fall. "And once, on the opening night of the musical Ain't Misbehavin', I fell in the middle of a dance routine! You look out at thousands of people and wish the earth would just open up... But you get up — even if it's just because there are people in the wings shouting at you to get up."

Marc on:

Flying: "I don't like flying. Actually, I hate it. I tend to sit there wondering if there's anyone I've peeved off. I mean, I don't know the pilot — he could be an alcoholic and decide THIS is the flight to end it all. On the upside, flying makes me at peace with everybody, because I fly a lot. It makes me not take relationships for granted."

The 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa: "I speak to God regularly. We have that connection. And whenever we speak, I ask him to help Bafana-Bafana find the ball, because that seems to be their biggest problem," he says of the local team's prospects.