L2 Empuraan rapid review: 13 reasons why this Mohanlal Eid release didn’t work or rock my boat

All swagger, no soul. Here’s why I’m not buying the hype into this star-studded Malayalam-language Eid blockbuster L2: Empuraan.

P.S: I love Malayalam cinema and Mohanlal as an actor. But watching him play dress-up in tight leather pants, black kurta, and brooding looks didn't just talk to me. And what's it with their obsession with stars traveling in choppers?

1. It’s giving… pretentious.
Starting with a Lord Acton quote "Power corrupts, absolute corrupt absolutely" like it's a TED Talk? Spare me the pseudo-intellectual foreplay. Get to the point—or at least, to Mohanlal.

2. World tour fatigue is real.
Iraq, Senegal, London, New York, random deserts? I'm all for scale, but this felt like a budget airline itinerary with zero emotional baggage.

3. Mohanlal, where were you?
Dragging myself to a 4:30am show for Lalettan, only to be left hanging for nearly an hour? That’s cinematic betrayal.

4. Zayed Masood is a walking Tom Ford ad:
Love a good vest moment, but can we also get a personality arc? Less leather pants, more grounded grit please.

5. Let’s talk Godhra.
No, I wasn’t a fan of how the film co-opted the Godhra carnage and mythologised it like it was part of some hero’s origin story.
That tragedy was an attack on minorities—not a plot device to boost someone's tragic past. Take a stand, don't turn real pain into aesthetic set-pieces.

6. Hindi-fication overload.
Desperate to go pan-India? The forced Hindi dialogues and North Indian seasoning don’t feel organic—they feel like a pitch deck to a Bollywood studio head.

7. Philosophy class, but make it cinema.
So many lofty quotes. So little emotional impact. I didn’t sign up for a university lecture on power and corruption.

8. Sizzle, no steak in the first half.
Slick shots, globe-hopping, and cryptic looks don’t make a movie. Stakes do. Sadly, they were MIA till intermission.

9. Kerala called, it wants its heroes back.
As soon as we returned to the backwaters and the family feud kicked in—boom—the film finally grew a spine.

10. Manju Warrier + Tovino = FIRE.
Forget the boys and their guns. This sister-brother political drama was the most explosive thing onscreen. And it didn’t even need grenades.

11. Tovino stole the thunder in this movie.
Slick, cynical, and oozing charisma—he’s the villain you love to watch spiral.

12. Who is Stephen/Kureshi anyway?
Three hours later and all I got was a shrug and a one-liner: “I’m not a Malabari, I’m a Hindustani.” Cool line, zero clarity.

13. And now… China? Really?
Because nothing says trilogy finale like another ominous monologue and a vague promise of chaos in China. Please—just give us more Mohanlal in mundu, less mayhem.

Final word:

Empuraan is ambitious, yes. But ambition without accountability is just chaos with a budget. Don’t wrap up real-world trauma in myth. Don’t sacrifice substance for swag. And above all—don’t keep Mohanlal waiting in the wings.