Women seek financial security

Love conquers all, they say. Or does it? Forbes Woman recently collaborated with relationship site YourTango to ask women if they would want to stroll down the aisle with an unemployed man. About 75 per cent of the respondents were honest enough to admit they would never marry a jobless partner. It's not that women are being selfish. They simply crave financial security.

It may be safe to deduce from the study that, considering many men have been displaced by layoffs, the marketability of some bachelors out there has dropped, or that couples are holding off on wedding bells. In the US, for instance, men are more affected by unemployment than women, with 82 per cent of job cuts in recent years hitting male-dominated industries like construction and manufacturing.

But being unemployed doesn't prove to be such a major marriage encumbrance for some people. Someone I know, Dan (not his real name), recently lost his job at an advertising agency. He is 26 and is dependent on his family for financial support. His girlfriend is fresh out of college and has a low-paying job. Both have just decided to tie the knot.

Dan's family, though they can afford it, are not willing to foot the wedding bill just for the sake of satisfying the wishes of the young man in love. Yet, these lovebirds, as young (and broke) as they are, are determined to share one roof over their heads as long as they both shall live — no matter what.

In fact, Dan is willing to sell the only piece of land he inherited from his parents, just so they will have money to spend for their wedding and perhaps have a little amount to start a new life. For the moment, his main goal is: get married now, worry about money later.

Dan thinks that even without a dirham in the bank or a steady paycheque, everything will work out fine or fall into place after he settles down: the heavens will help him find a job and he will have enough money to raise his own family.

Love supreme

In short, love will see them through. For those who are romantic at heart, it's a lovely sentiment. But a family member is deeply worried. "If he can't pay for his own wedding now, how can he feed his own family during his marriage?"

His family's concerns are warranted. We all want to believe that love does conquer everything, including financial troubles. But I'm more inclined to agree with the old saying that "when money goes out the door, love flies out the window".

Because, even if you bet your life that you can stand by each other "for better or for worse", you will still need to pay the rent, settle your bills, put food on the table, and, as the family expands, you will require more funds to feed, clothe and send your children to school. And if you don't have money coming in to pay for all of these, you wouldn't be a happy husband or wife.

So, before you make promises that you will be in it for the long haul, bear in mind that marriage is not just about romance. It's about simple economics, too. It makes sense, then, that you aim to achieve a certain level of financial security before taking the plunge.

Your wedding is just one of the many financial events that you have to shoulder. It pays to consider a few things before you even plan the ceremony: