Left to autumn's lonely twilight

Lahore: Amid rapidly changing social values in the Pakistani society, the tendency to send parents to old-age homes against their will is growing.

A visit to one such home in Lahore, Afiat, revealed that a majority of the inmates there wanted to live with their children and families but were forced to live in charity homes.

Some of the inmates of Afiat wept while recalling their life with their beloved families. Although the management of Afiat takes good care of the senior citizens, they still felt lonely and wanted to return to their families. Most of the people at the home said those who had admitted them, never returned to visit them even on Eid days.

Rashida Bibi, a mother of two daughters and two sons - the elder one a journalist and the younger one a colonel in the armed forces - is an educated rich woman but her daughters-in-law were not willing to keep her with them.

Despite being highly educated ladies, both of them could not bear her existence in the house.

She said that she brought up her two sons and provided them with the best education available. It had never occurred to her they would behave in such a callous manner with her. She missed her grand children very much and the loving atmosphere they provided at home.

Akbar Ali, 65, who had been working as an official cook at a former prime minister's house, now lives at Afiat as he has no relative, most of whom died during the earthquake in Pakistani Kashmir a couple of years ago. He was too old and weak even to talk properly.

Malik Naveed, 63, was manager at the Pakistan State Oil and was a well-established person. He has two married daughters and a son who works as general manager in an international bank in Saudi Arabia. He distributed all his property among his children and relatives but no one was now ready to house him.

Naveed said that most of the people living around him at Afiat belonged to a different social background making it difficult for him to feel at home.

He is a bitter man as his desire to be with his children and grandchildren gnaw him from inside.

Dawood, 62, a former bank gunman, also lives here and has a similar story to tell but seemed to have resigned himself to the circumstances. He said one of his age should be satisfied with enough to eat and a bed to lie down at night.

One of the residents, Jamila Aziz, died on March 8, on International Women's Day. An employ of the old-age home said not one of her children or other relatives even bothered to attend her funeral.

Dilshad, a widow, who has a son studying abroad, has pains at her joints but cannot afford the costly medicines. She is living in the hope that one day her son will complete his education and return to Pakistan and take her as part of his family. She had been working as a tailor but can no longer work to make a living.

Zenat Bibi is a mother of four sons who live in Australia and Dubai. She belongs to an affluent family but her sons left her once she transferred all her property in their name. She finally decided to spend the rest of her life at Afiat.

An educated old couple has been living at Afiat for three months. This unfortunate couple had transferred their property and savings to their children but instead of looking after their parents, they pushed them out of their house. The couple earn their living by giving tuitions.