Thinking Aloud - July 4, 2003

We just thought we'd have a nice quiet family dinner. No need to book in advance, dress up, organise a babysitter or battle through traffic to Dubai. We invited a couple of family members and I did a Sunday Roast (just what you want at this time of year!)

After managing to squeeze everyone around the kitchen table, the family proceeded to demolish everything edible, within biting range. They even ate all the veggies!

Then the entertainment started. Marco (middle child, so centre of attention most of the time to make up for being 'ignored',) insisted on showing us the cartwheels and 'almost back flips' he'd learnt the day before at his gymnastics class.

The trouble is that his arms and legs seem to have grown disproportionally to the rest of his body and he tends to have trouble controlling them much of the time. After we'd picked up the pieces and patched him up, we turned to the pudding.

By now someone had let the kittens in, (remember, I said they were just going to stay in the garden?!) and they were amusing everyone with their roly poly play fights and batting small objects around on the floor.

Nina was showing her favourite Aunty her new reading skills and there was a pile of books on the edge of the table that threatened to block out the light. Then my brother broke his teeth on the pudding.

Not possible, I insisted, and he admitted that actually, they weren't real teeth, just temporary as his new ones were to be picked up the following morning. (Yes, this was the 'eligible bachelor brother' – don't even ask!)

Once we'd all recovered, it was clear up time and after a few half-hearted attempts to load the dishwasher by several male members of the family (I'm convinced they do it wrong on purpose!), I gave up and did it myself, while general mayhem erupted around me.

The children had put on a CD, which their uncle had produced and which sounded to me suspiciously like piano practice, guitar practice and Nina shouting all rolled into one (they'd recently spent an afternoon at his 'studio' recording this masterpiece).

All the pets had now joined us in the kitchen and my nice, quiet family dinner had left me in desperate need of a lie down in a dark room.