Chelsea touted favourites to land Valencia's Villa

London: Spare a thought for prolific smoker Carlo Ancelotti, who, like Def Leppard, is finding it increasingly difficult to get a hit.

Already the Italian has been grumbling since his arrival in Britain about the law that prevents him from grabbing a gasper in restaurant food being his other great passion, apparently and now he can't even spark up outside for fear of being frozen like a swindler's assets.

To keep his mind off his misery, Ancelotti has resolved to get active and though it is less than two weeks since he declared "I've already said this many times so this is the last time: we will not be buying anyone in January. 100 per cent", today Chelsea are being linked with a slew of new signings.

First up is David Villa, the Valencia striker who, according to several tabloids, "has put Europe's top clubs on high alert" by saying he will, after all, consider a move beyond Spain, particularly to the Premier League.

Market value

Chelsea are suddenly the favourites to land him, though Manchester United are pretending to be in the running and Arsne Wenger will gladly take him if Valencia will accept a fee well below his market value and a pious lecture about playing the game the right way.

Rafael Bentez, meanwhile, is wrapping bandages around his self-esteem as he goes into battle with Wigan and Hull for the services of 2m-rated Brann striker Erik Huseklepp.

Self-esteem

There's also talk about Chelsea chasing Bolton's England U21 anchor man, Fabrice Muamba and Porto's Colombia forward Falcao. Bentez, meanwhile, is wrapping protective padding around the bandages around his self-esteem as he attempts to persuade Emile Heskey to return to Anfield.

Ancelotti is also going to have to busy himself with sweet-talking Branislav Ivanovic into staying at Stamford Bridge despite interest from Real Madrid.

Elsewhere, new Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini will try to take his mind off the hysterical media moralising about a club's decision to take steps to ensure they have a manager ready to step in when they ditch the under-performing incumbent, by bounding into the transfer market to bag Matthew Upson, Inter full-back Maicon and Bolton's Gary Cahill.

Bentez, meanwhile, is wrapping cotton wool around the protective padding around the bandages to his self-esteem as he sidles up to Benjani Mwaruari. Two widemen on their way back to the Premier League are Jermaine Pennant, coveted by Aston Villa, and Jos Antonio Reyes, in demand from Everton.

Sir Alex Ferguson, meanwhile, is about to put Nani out of Old Trafford's misery by including him in the deal that could bring winger Angel di Mara from Benfica.