Young hearts healed

"At the age of 17, there have been moments in my life that I could say have changed me. When there are so many people around you, when you are at such a vulnerable age, a single shifty look or an unspoken word can catch my interest," says Zahra Khamissa, a South African-Canadian grade 12 student of Dubai International School.

"It could be an event, a conversation ... anything that turns my life around. It could be the recent marriage of one of my best friends that made me begin to cherish each and every moment, or the death of my grandfather that had the same effect. It could be both of these things combined, but at different levels.

"But one moment sticks in my mind like none other. After a series of nasty, immature arguments between my friend, Atheer, and I, we stopped speaking to each other for almost nine months," she says.

"This was a totally new experience for me - Atheer had been like my sister. I had never been a very strong person and then all of a sudden, I had to deal with the gossip and backstabbing that surfaced.

"In the rare event that we saw each other, our faces turned away and we were too proud to even greet each other.

"It was such a difficult process. This was a friend that I had shared countless profound moments with and we weren't speaking. It was astounding that after the long daily phone conversations we'd enjoyed for so long, we were almost enemies.

"At times when I believed that we could patch things over, more spiteful comments would pour out and ruin the opportunity.

"This was the girl I had lived with for two weeks when my parents were out of the country. It was unbelievable. Sometimes I would catch my conscience and think, 'How could I let this happen? Was it worth it?' I told myself that she had done the unthinkable and that I was the victim. How wrong I was.

"We had shared rooms together, meals, laughter, jokes and hundreds of happy memories.

"My older sister, predictably, was on my side but she let us both know how ridiculous we were being. Maybe we should have listened.

"Nine months down the line, nothing had changed between us. However, through a twist of fate, one evening I found myself at her house for a dinner party.

"And for the first time for many months, in the company of others, we managed to sit in each other's company and have a civil conversation. There was a pinch of hostility, but nothing terrible.

"Later that night, after I returned home, I decided to call her, not really knowing what to say.

"After a few minutes of clipped comments, we both began to empty our hearts to each other. All the regret, anger and hurt we had felt over the past months were put into words and while doing so we began to understand why each and every action had been carried out. At that very moment, I realised that there was nothing worth losing a friend over.

"From that day on, I have changed many things. I think before I speak, I analyse my actions and only confide in those I trust and love and who I know won't hurt me.

"Now, no matter what happens, I realise that if I shelve my pride and be optimistic, I can get over anything and grow through the experience.

"It was that conversation that made me sit up and take notice that I should never let my emotions take charge, that there is a difference between hearing and listening and a difference between knowing and seeing. Both sides of the story had to be heard. To this day, I am proud of myself.

"And the best thing is that Atheer and I are now closer than ever. If we thought we were close before, well, it is incomparable as to how our relationship is now. We are now comfortable enough to tease each other about the whole 'fight' and it has become a standing joke within our circle of friends.

"Now when people look at us, they probably think that these are two girls who can never be parted. Little do they know that we were - and thank God we got through it. I don't know how I would have gotten through this past year without her hand to hold or her shoulder to cry on.

"Now when I lend my ear to others who are going through something similar - whether they're friend or family - my advice to them isn't shallow. It comes from the heart: that things are not as bad as they could be, no matter how hurt you are. There is always another day, when you can start afresh. It's never too late.

"As heartbreaking as the whole process was, it gave me a chance to put things into perspective and believe not only in myself, but in others too."