When office rumours become trauma: How to protect your peace and power at work

What if someone’s fun at work becomes your trauma?

Rumours, particularly in the workplace can turn deeply insidious. They move like a thick fog, slowly enveloping everyone in their path until people stop seeing the people they once knew. Sometimes, the truth eventually cuts through. More often, it feels easier to invalidate someone than to question the narrative taking shape around them.

That psychological fog can feel endless — as can the stories of those forced to live inside it.

Dubai-based Lily (name changed on request) recalls how rumours began multiplying when she stepped into a new role and received visible support from her manager. “The visibility and support were misinterpreted by members of other departments, who just began spreading slander,” she says. Matters escalated when she was wrongly accused of claiming personal items — perfumes and lipsticks — and inappropriate rumours about her with her manager began to circulate. The situation became so serious that she was questioned directly by the CEO. “The environment became unbearable, and I chose to resign,” she says.

In cases like Lily’s, the rumours are often entirely unfounded. Sometimes, there doesn’t even need to be a reason for slander to begin. Aneesha Mohan, a Dubai-based homemaker, echoes this sentiment when reflecting on her first job several years ago. “If people can find a rumour, they will. she says. “I was so afraid at first, because really vicious rumours about my friendship with a male colleague began doing the rounds. It made both of us uncomfortable, and I ended up losing a good friend.”

Over time, however, fear gave way to clarity. “I realised that I can’t keep living in this fright and anxiety about what people will do next,” she adds. “The only advice I have is this: if you have the option to leave the organisation, then do so.”

But sometimes, leaving an organisation isn’t the only — or immediate — solution. So what do you do when you realise you’ve become the target of slander and workplace gossip?

You know the feeling before you even understand it. You walk into the office and sense that something has shifted — a pause in conversation, a look exchanged, a tone that suddenly feels off. Someone, who was once on good terms with you, finds excuses to avoid talking to you.

It burns, no doubt and you keep wondering for months, where you went wrong.

According to Dr Lucy Bolton, Associate Professor in Business Psychology at Heriot-Watt University Dubai, that moment is often the beginning of a deeper psychological unraveling. As she explains: Being subjected to workplace rumours often triggers a cycle of cognitive overload, emotional exhaustion and reduced psychological safety.

 Research backs this up. Dr Bolton points to evidence showing that, negative workplace gossip increases rumination, stress and impaired concentration, which can spill over into sleep quality and overall wellbeing. Over time, rumours corrode something far more fundamental than productivity: belonging. “They create a threat response, where employees become hypervigilant and less willing to speak up. The erosion of trust can disrupt team cohesion and performance,” she adds.

 As Nusrat Khan, a clinical psychologist in Dubai, emphasises, sustained slander and rumours are not simply “everyday stress.”

 “Typical coping mechanisms such as denial, forced positivity do not help the psychological health of the person, in fact, it can worsen the outcomes, and supportive work relationships do not buffer out the burnout that the employee might feel.”

 When rumours and misinformation are systematically coordinated, she explains, they are rarely random. “This issue of hate-mongering, is actually inside the power dynamics of the organisation. And healing, involves seeing this aspect clearly, that there is a power dynamic involved. Otherwise, the survivor keeps personalising it. And it costs them years of anxiety, negative self-perception.”

 She stresses the importance of reframing responsibility. Such campaigns, she explains further, often emerge when someone is perceived as a threat — not because they are doing something wrong, but because they represent competence or independence that doesn’t comply easily. Rumours then become a tool for neutralisation. Power is rarely exercised directly; instead, whisper networks take over. No one confronts you openly. Instead, people begin searching for flaws.

Once you sense a slander campaign, the instinct to explain yourself kicks in almost immediately. You want to set the record straight with people you once trusted. You want to justify yourself. It’s a consuming urge, as Adrija Bhattacharya (name changed on request) recalls: “I made that mistake. I went to different people to clear my name — and it only made things worse. Even when you feel like screaming that you’re innocent, you realise that battle never really ends."

 As Dr Bolton explains that such slander doesn’t just distort reality — it hijacks self-trust. “When someone subtly undermines your confidence, it can make you doubt your own judgment and push you to keep proving your version of events in order to feel grounded again, she adds.

 In workplaces where reputations feel fragile, the impulse intensifies. The quiet question she leaves hanging is perhaps the hardest one: “What might change for you if you paused before explaining and trusted that your integrity speaks for itself?”

Sometimes, people wait — endlessly — for justice. They keep wondering, how did this person just walk free, after causing such immense trauma? And slowly, we start thinking in terms of 'they won. I lost'.

Dr Khan sees this often.“I see that many people, who wait for justice, from systems that are invested in such silence. When you see that system is designed to nurture silence and betrayal, everything shifts.”

In those moments, justice can take a different shape. “I have seen so many stories where justice just means exiting with dignity. Do not wait till the time to prove your worth, you don’t need to prove your worth to people who already know it. Exiting with dignity is not a failure, instead, I’ve seen people perish in an organisation because they want to prove themselves.”

Her advice is clear: Recognise when the ecosystem itself is the problem. Invest in rebuilding your reputation elsewhere.

“You don’t need conversations and closure. Healing is just recognising when walking away is self-respect.”

As she reminds us, structural harm is not a personal weakness.

Sometimes, it really is them — not you.

 According to Dr Rommel Sergio, HRM Professor at Canadian University Dubai, workplace gossip is rarely a personal failing. More often, it points to deeper structural issues. “Office rumours and misinformation tend to persist when both psychological and organisational gaps exist.”

 One of the most common triggers is silence. “A primary driver is the absence of timely, clear communication from leadership.” In hierarchical cultures, he explains, this communication gap only widens, creating fertile ground for speculation.

 Crucially, he emphasises that gossip is not always malicious. “Importantly, most workplace rumours are not driven by malicious intent. They are often a response to uncertainty and a way for employees to regain a sense of control.”

 The solution, then, isn’t policing conversations — it’s rebuilding trust. “Creating a healthier work environment begins with fostering psychological safety and trust. When organisations actively invest in initiatives that support wellbeing and connection, gossip tends to diminish naturally.”

 Moreover, timing and tone also play a critical role. “Addressing misinformation early—before it gains momentum—is critical. Communication that is transparent but measured helps preserve dignity and trust.” When leaders respond calmly and clearly, they reduce anxiety and prevent rumours from taking root.

 Over time, consistency becomes a form of protection. “When employees believe that leadership will communicate honestly, address concerns respectfully, and act fairly, rumours lose credibility and influence.”

Left unchecked, rumours quietly reshape workplace behaviour. “People become more cautious, guarded, or disengaged, the cost is not just operational—it is emotional, relational, and cultural," he adds.

 And when harmful patterns persist, escalation becomes necessary. “Involving leadership or HR support can provide structure, neutrality, and fairness,” he says — reinforcing that clarity and accountability, not confrontation, are what ultimately stop misinformation from spreading.

Speaking from experience, he adds, that a measured and thoughtful response is far more effective than reacting emotionally or confronting individuals impulsively. Pausing to assess the situation objectively—understanding what is being said, why, and whether it stems from misunderstanding, fear, or communication gaps—prevents escalation and ensures a constructive response. “When appropriate, calm, respectful dialogue is the most productive approach,” he adds. Addressing concerns with curiosity rather than accusation can clarify facts and reset expectations, often without harming relationships.

As Dr Bolton explains, sustainable recovery is not about rushing back into old dynamics but about moving forward at a pace that honours your emotional boundaries.