Ten ways to live like a leader

1 Communicate

Listening is one of the most important skills in good leadership. Unfortunately, we aren't very good at it - we only digest a dismal 25 to 50 per cent of what we actually hear. To improve active listening, Devika Singh suggests making a conscious effort to not only hear the words being spoken but also try to understand the total message being sent. "A good tip is to try repeating the words you are listening to; restating in your own words what the other person has just said. This not only shows you are actively listening, it can help clarify what you hear and lessen misunderstanding."

2 Love yourself

Caring for yourself is a healthy characteristic. Authentic leaders eat well, exercise and care about their wellbeing. "Caring about you shows self-respect," says Devika. "Self-care is not a luxury; it's a medical necessity as it increases the supply of neurochemicals, such as neurotransmitters, enzymes and hormones. They improve the brain's oxygen supply and stimulate nerve growth." Set aside at least 20 to 40 minutes each day for yourself. After all, you can't do great things if you don't feel good.

3 Know yourself

Integrity is a keyword in leadership. It means the combination of outward actions and inner values. "In other words, a person of integrity is the same on the outside as on the inside," says Devika. Who you are speaks louder than anything you say. Honesty and well-controlled emotions are all signs of integrity. To boost your integrity, make a list of your likes and dislikes. What makes you happy? Is there anything you have been doing lately that you dislike, but feel you have to do? Can that be changed?

4 Be assertive

Striking the right balance in assertiveness is perhaps one of the greatest challenges in leading effectively. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, being under or over-assertive is the most common weakness among aspiring leaders. Be aware that assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. "Being assertive is better defined as the ability to clearly state what you expect," says Devika. "It's helpful to think of assertiveness as a way of sharing power. Leading with aggression, for example, is negative. Fear never brings out the best in anyone. Being too passive on the other hand will diminish respect and your power to lead. Being assertive creates the healthiest balance."

5 Lead from the heart

Strength of character is a true trait of leadership. Stick to your core values; in doing so, people will trust, respect and listen to you. You must be passionate and driven by your cause or the people you lead. Without this you risk coming across as insincere, turning people away, rather than towards you. Devika suggests examining your own role models. "This could be a family member, a politician or musician you admire, a coach, boss or friend, anyone who has influenced you. Ask yourself how this person inspired you and try to emulate it."

6 Be courageous

It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right, even though it may not be easy. We live in a world where so many people walk the path of least resistance. Authentic leadership is all about taking the road less travelled - it's not about doing what is easy, but what is right. Devika says, "Accepting things the way they are because they are familiar can lead to mindlessness. Instead, strive for mind-‘fullness'. Effective leaders have the courage to question the norm and suggest alternatives. This is how many revolutionary ideas came about."

7 Spread the fame, take the blame

Magnanimity means giving credit where credit is due. A magnanimous leader spreads credit as widely as possible. A good leader also takes responsibility for failures. When trouble arises, try to look in the mirror rather than out the window. "A leader isn't a hero," says Devika, "much less a super-hero. Those characters belong in blockbuster movies, not real life. A real leader makes mistakes, owns up and learns from them. In this way you lead by example."

8 See it from their side

Be empathetic by learning the art of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. This can be accomplished by being in touch with your own emotions. Those who are cut off from their own feelings are often unable to empathise with others. "Empathy is often communicated non-verbally through things like the tone of your voice and your body posture. Words only make up three per cent of the communication process," says Devika. "Empathetic communication builds empathetic leaders - someone who people will want to follow."

9 Learn to forgive

Look for the best in others. Find one positive thing about everyone you know and let them hear it. Be generous with praise and encouragement. If you let others know that they are appreciated, they'll want to give you their best. "If you find yourself struggling with forgiveness," says Devika, "look around you for spiritual, religious or community guidance. This can be helpful in trying to work through feelings of resentment, anger and perceived offence. All three of these issues are ‘toxic' and serve no purpose. They are also a sign that an expectation was not met. Ask yourself if that expectation was reasonable."

10 Excellence rather than perfection

No one is perfect. Effective leaders commit themselves to giving 100 per cent in everything they do. "It's important to have realistic but high standards for yourself and those around you," says Devika. "Be aware of what's working for you and what isn't. Seek feedback and strive to always raise your standards."