Role reversal

"My daughter teaches me to not procrastinate," says Cyntha Gonzalez a Dubai-based writer. "My middle name is Procrastination and she, thank God, did not inherit it from me!"

Roopali Bajaj says: "I started working as a hypnotherapist from home and it was very easy for me as my daughter made sure I wouldn't be disturbed and the house would run smoothly when I was busy with my clients."

Homemaker Litfeya Bin Braik recalls how her daughter's encouragement helped set up an exclusive home-furnishings boutique.

"I could not have done it on my own," she admits.

"She helps out quite a bit around the house and has become quite independent. That gives me more time to pursue my interests," says Naheed Maalik, marketing and communications manager at University of Wollongong about daughter Natasha, a grade 11 student.

An inherent well-tuned synergy between a mother and daughter often allows mums to explore opportunities as girls get older and shoulder more responsibility. They become an anchor, sounding board and begin to wield an inspiring influence on their mothers. But then who else would understand a mother better than a daughter?

"As I've grown up I think I've become more of a physical and emotional support to her," says Natasha of Maalik.

"I have tried to encourage Mum to go back to her old circle of friends and be more social," adds Bin Braik's businesswoman daughter Wedad, while Gonzalez's 14-year-old Cheyenne Kabil feels she has changed the way her mother carries out her priorities. "She has been writing a book for years now and she has commented on how because of me, she writes more and has more motivation to keep writing."

Innately empowered to fathom gadgets, Gen Z also help their Gen X mums with technology. "From using my BlackBerry, downloading music and movies to using keys instead of the mouse for my laptop has all been taught by my daughter," Bajaj says.

"I was using Napster for music downloads when Natasha was a baby," recalls Maalik fondly. Now Natasha not only helps her mother sort out IT queries, she even influences her taste in music.

"I like it, much to Natasha's horror!" Maalik laughs.

One of my most vivid childhood memories is seeing my mother dress for a party. Standing by the door of her room I would silently watch her line her eyes with kohl, brush cheeks burgundy, put on lipstick, confidently clasp on a gorgeous necklace and bend down to kiss me goodnight.

Opinions matter

As I went from seven to 17, the ritual remained the same, but my presence took on new meaning — my opinions began to matter. After all, girls are their mother's biggest critics because with a young daughter, trends and fashion are easy to track.

"I just let her know if I think what she is wearing looks like it came out of somebody's closet who hasn't seen fashion in 20 years," Cheyenne agrees.

"She always asks for my opinion and usually changes or wears further accessories if I suggest it," adds Vamika who studies in grade 13, and her mum feels "very confident" when she receives her "approval". "The only time we have a discord is when I wear Indian clothes. She feels she cannot relate to me in ethnic outfits," laughs Bajaj.

"Wedad is into labels and brands and is pretty much influenced by the Middle East way of living. I was not into designers and labels. But now my shopping decisions are based on quality branded wear," Bin Braik says.

Natasha too sees a change in her mother. "I've noticed that she has started using more make-up, gets her eyebrows done and even has her hair styled more often. I think seeing me do things like this, she's become more regular and caring of her physical appearance."

Eager to try new challenges, from culinary to physically strenuous ones, mothers just need a little love and some sweet talk.

Wedad encouraged Bin Braik to start yoga and attend gym. Cheyenne made Gonzalez join a theatre group and Bajaj has scaled rocks and rafted down rivers, thanks to Vamika's persuasive abilities.

"Now I am getting all geared up for training in free-fall skydiving sessions, before Vamika leaves for the US later in the year," she smiles.

"I think there cannot be a more beautiful and bonding experience than falling from a height of 13,000 feet with my daughter!"

Make-up mischief

Borrowing clothes and accessories is often a mother-daughter tussle that only strengthens the bond. If you've ever raided your mum's dresser, read on and enjoy this endearing exchange.

Letifiya: "I have shared clothes with my daughter since she was 16. However, I must admit it's strenuous at times when I have to look for that ‘gold blouse' or my favourite lipstick for hours, and later come to find out its hidden in my daughter's cupboard. Wedad's responses are usually ‘I have never used anything, please check, it may be on your dressing table. A few hours later, I notice that the lipstick has suddenly appeared on my table!"

Wedad: "When Mum is dressing up for a wedding and she cannot find her favourite fuchsia lipstick or that evening purse, then hell just breaks loose as she comes thundering into my room."

Rupali: "I call Vamika a ‘make-up thief'. In spite of me buying her all the make-up that she needs, she loves to sneak into my room and try mine."

Vamika: "Whenever her make-up is missing, she just walks up to my cupboard and discovers it there."

Natasha: "I usually borrow her clothes and we have our own separate make-up because she is such a hygiene freak!"

Naheed: "Actually I borrow her straightening iron. I have never owned one!"

Rupali: "I seriously thought that curling-iron fights were unique only to my house — little did I know it is common in every household with daughters."

Make-up mischief

Borrowing clothes and accessories is often a mother-daughter tussle that only strengthens the bond. If you've ever raided your mum's dresser, read on and enjoy this endearing exchange.

Litfeya: "I have shared clothes with my daughter since she was 16. However, I must admit it's strenuous at times when I have to look for that ‘gold blouse' or my favourite lipstick for hours, and later come to find out its hidden in my daughter's cupboard. Wedad's responses are usually ‘I have never used anything, please check, it may be on your dressing table. A few hours later, I notice that the lipstick has suddenly appeared on my table!"

Wedad: "When Mum is dressing up for a wedding and she cannot find her favourite fuchsia lipstick or that evening purse, then hell just breaks loose as she comes thundering into my room."

Roopali: "I call Vamika a ‘make-up thief'. In spite of me buying her all the make-up that she needs, she loves to sneak into my room and try mine."

Vamika: "Whenever her make-up is missing, she just walks up to my cupboard and discovers it there."

Natasha: "I usually borrow her clothes and we have our own separate make-up because she is such a hygiene freak!"

Naheed: "Actually I borrow her straightening iron. I have never owned one!"

Roopali: "I seriously thought curling-iron fights were unique only to my house — little did I know it is common in every household with daughters."

— Shahana Raza is a UAE-based freelance writer