Lessons from a mentor

Eleven years ago, Priya Kumar saw the turning point in her life. Right before her eyes, was the writing on the wall - that her life would no longer be the same.

It was the day when Dr Niranjan Patel, her mentor and guide, passed away suddenly and his death made her realise how unpredictable life can be.

As an undergraduate student of economics at Mumbai University, Kumar taught French to earn some pocket money and support her education.

While doing this, she met Dr Patel, a human resources professional from a pharmaceutical company who took it as his mission to counsel young boys and girls against alcohol and nicotine addiction. Working in close association with Kumar, he counselled her students and helped them kick the habit.

"I respected Dr Patel's ideals, his principles. Despite a busy schedule, he took time out to work with youth because he believed that guiding them in the right direction would lead to a good society.

"But then one day he was just not there. No more counselling sessions, no more lectures."

That's when she realised it was time she took charge and carried on his work. "I did not attend (my mentor's) funeral because to me his ideals are still alive. This gave me the confidence to carry on.

"While I continued giving French lessons, I would also advise students on how not to fall into the trap of bad habits. For many of my students, it was a language-cum-rehabilitation class. I connected well with my listeners and (felt that I) could make a difference in their lives."

Not only did she carry on the message of her mentor, she also began to realise her own potential as a life coach - a career in which she could change lives by the power of ideas.

She could clearly see where her life was heading. "I thought it was best to build on this ambition. My goal was crystal clear and I couldn't wait to share my ideas with others."

Her life, she feels, is an example of how the life and death of one human being can be instrumental in shaping the course of another.

As she puts it, "I did not have to choose my career - it chose me. I have always been (doing) this, sharing with others what worked for me.

"When people realise that we are powerful beyond measure, it is the light in us and not the darkness that initially scares us the most. But we all need to shine and get going. The power to change things lies within you and you alone can do it."

Today as a trainer Kumar says that all she does is simply share with others what she knows about life. She believes that "life is a gift which needs to be valued and cared for".

She has an honours degree in economics from Mumbai University, a postgraduate qualification in marketing and sales from Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies (NMIMS) and a master trainer certificate in neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Kumar is also a firewalking instructor, trained by the Sundoor firewalking school (a US-based educational centre).

But what is it exactly that she wants to share with people? Kumar says many people are unwilling to act and unwilling to try to change their lives because their mindset is enslaved by other people's opinions. These limits are just a state of mind, she explains.

"Limits that other people accept, we often accept. We accept a lot of things that have no basis. Everybody's lives are based on other people's experiences - we don't question the rules. If we did, life would be so much better and simpler," she says.

Another lesson that Kumar often emphasises in her workshops is that when people accept that they are the cause of certain things, life is very different - they become empowered.

"Be accountable for what you are and you will be in control. Success means contribution and creation. I contribute and create. If your focus is on money, your focus is wrong," she says.