Goodbye bad boy

Changing school. Starting a new job. Finding a good friend. Getting the hang of planting roses. What's so unusual about all of these? Every one of us experiences them some time in life. (Okay, forget planting roses. You could be planting tulips but the point is the same.) But for Kavoos Mobaraki, one of the above changed his life forever.

"When my family moved to the UAE from Iran in 1990, I was just 10," he says. "My parents and I lived in Khor Fakkan. It was the first time I had ever left my friends and relatives to settle in a new country.

"Once we settled down, I had to begin school. Since Khor Fakkan did not have an Iranian school, my parents decided to send me to another school. This was a big move for me because my schooling had been in Persian and here studies would be conducted in English with Hindi as the second language.

"When you are 10, life is full of expectations and I was ready to make new friends, who I hoped would help me and stand by me as I tried to catch up with their language.

"However at 10, children can also be terribly cruel. Just a few days after I joined school, I realised that I was an outcast. My English was limited and I didn't know any Hindi.

"I could only string a few words together but not speak as fluently as the others. Soon I became the butt of all their jokes; I was being laughed at all the time.

"As the months rolled on, I felt increasingly alienated. I didn't have a single friend and hatred swelled in me. When it was time for our summer vacation, I was a completely different boy to the one who left Iran a year before.

"Once we were back in Tehran on vacation, my parents - who had seen me suffer in my studies that year - made a decision. I was given a chance: if I could pass the Iranian board exam for the Grade I had missed, they would send me to the Iranian school in Dubai. But I had to learn a year's work in just 20 days!

"I had never been an extraordinary student, but I was motivated. I had to get out of that school. So I put my heart and soul into passing those exams. On the 20th day, the exams began.

"With a heart full of both hope and dread, I sat for them, one by one. When the results were announced a few weeks later, I had passed all the subjects - and with good grades. I was euphoric and my whole family celebrated my victory."

When the family returned to the UAE, Kavoos's father secured a job in Dubai, making it easier for Kavoos to attend the Iranian School in Bur Dubai, where lessons were conducted in Farsi.

Kavoos was determined to begin afresh. "I had learned what an asset English is so I began attending the International Institute of Languages in the evenings to learn English," he says.

But the experiences of the previous year had wounded him deeply and left him bitter.

"Even though I was just 11, I had been hurt deeply and my heart was filled with mistrust. I would make friends easily, but just a small mistake, one mistake, and I would break the friendship. Now I realise the fault was in me and not in them.

"As I approached my adolescence, I began letting out all my pent-up anger. Fighting became a norm. I revelled in one-on-one fights and group fights and became notorious for my victories.

"But I was carrying a heavy load of hurt, guilt and mistrust and a heart that would not and could not forgive. My attitude affected my relationships, studies and family.

"When I was about 14, I was standing outside the principal's office for yet another misdemeanour and it struck me how miserable my life was.

"As I watched the other students walk about with their friends - laughing at me, sharing so many things together - I knew I had to change. I cringed at what I had become, but it seemed too late to change.

"Years went by and I carried my anger, hurt and the misery of being an unpopular troublemaker within me. But when I left school and got a job in Dubai, I realised it was an opportunity to change into a new me. People didn't know me, they didn't know my past and I was tired of being who I was."

Kavoos, who had been the 'bad boy' for almost a decade, needed strength and help to turn over a new leaf.

"That's when I turned to God," he says. "I had never been a very spiritual person, but I realised that I needed help. I couldn't do it alone … as I sought help; for the first time in my life I placed my trust in God completely.

"It was a road to self-realisation, of facing past hurts and having hope in salvation. Little by little, new life was breathed into me. Each day, my mistrust of others started to diminish, my anger faded and my trust in people blossomed.

"At the same time, one of my colleagues became a good friend and for the first time I knew what friendship meant. He accepted me, flaws and all, which taught me to accept others too. And I learnt to be a good listener.

"A few months later, as I found myself listening to one of my co-workers' problems I couldn't help but smile. Here I was, one of the worst troublemakers in school, trying to solve someone else's problem! And I knew I couldn't have done it without God's help."