Devil's own: Mitsubishi Evolution X SST 330

Sometimes a four-wheel drive born and raised on the world's greatest rally stages, with a practical four-door saloon body with a boot, powered along by 300 turbocharged horses, just isn't enough.

How about all of the above, with an added 30bhp? And you may as well throw in an extra clutch, just for kicks. The result is Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X twin-clutch SST 330 package.

The standard 300bhp Evo X, with a short-throw five-speed manual is a joy even at the worst of times (which is on a highway when the gearbox whine, tyre and wind roar deafen you). I caned it round Dubai's Autodrome, burnt its rubber all along the UAE's deserted, er, desert roads, and eventually wept when the man from Ralliart UAE grappled the keys back from my clenched fists. Well, the dream had to end sometime.

The same guy called recently to let me know about the fettled-with, faster, purer version of the X. Immediately, my eyes turned red and two devil's horns sprouted from my head. Other road users better watch out ¬¬- with a 330bhp Evo X, all hell will break loose.

When the tenth Evolution in the legendary four-door, four-wheel drive line of Mitsus arrived here last November, the price was close to a stratospheric Dh180,000. You did get a lot of performance, but not much else. We still loved it, however the money they asked for it made us nauseous.

Ralliart UAE has since dropped the price, so that you can now pick up a base car for less than Dh145,000.

Never mind that, though. What you want is the new version, which goes for Dh155,000, as is. And 'as is' means: a very clever ECU re-map to unleash the extra horses, Super All Wheel Control, 18in lightweight Enkei wheels, Brembo brakes, Eibach coilies, Bilstein shocks, Recaro seats and, best of all, a six-speed TC SST (that's twin-clutch sports shift transmission to you). The last bit alone is worth the extra dosh. It's made by Getrag in Germany, who also supply VW with their twin-clutch boxes, and coupled to the added power, it rockets the Evo X to 100kph in 4.4secs, which is 0.3secs better than the standard version and 0.2 seconds faster than an Audi R8.

Large steering column mounted paddles allow you to shift even mid corner (though they don't turn with the wheel), changing gears at fractions of a second. One clutch takes care of odd-numbered gears, the other handles evens, so the one you're looking for next is always pre-engaged, ready before you are. It makes for super rapid movement.

So rapid, you'll soon find the need to lurk away from the city's prying eyes, deep beneath the skyscrapers. I found such a spot, organising a dead-empty car park with the officials, fresh with massive pillars to serve as slalom markers (which hurt a bit more than plastic orange cones).

I was feeling like a proper Fast & Furious extra, squeezing through the columns at breakneck speed. It's way better than a video game, this. The 330 Evo X grips severely, almost attempting to unearth the concrete it's setting alight with its fat rubber. There's so much grip, it's insane.

Pick a number, a high one, and then throw the Evo into a hairpin at that speed. It turns on the spot, like a crab, then shoots forward so ferociously, the turbo pick-up point feels like vertical take-off. If you hang around beneath 2,500rpm, there isn't much to do, though. The turbo lag is severe down there. Make sure you're constantly on the paddle-shifters, keeping the revs in the sweet spot, which is always the red-line.

It also helps that that's the point at which the turbocharged four-pot screams like no inline four has a right to announce itself. With an even higher performance exhaust, this thing could scare V8s. It sounds way better than the Nissan GT-R's six-pot.

So, hooning in an empty car park, or blasting down a winding canyon road, the devil's Mitsu is on another level at this sort of price. It just elevates handling and grip, acceleration and that turbo-lag "now you see it, now you don't" character to a place where nothing at even twice the price can match it.
Would I have it over a Subaru Impreza? In an instant. For one, Ralliart's Evolution 330 is Dh30,000 cheaper, with full support in terms of servicing and warranty. The other thing is that it's just a lot better. It looks meaner (especially if you have enough cash for the 400 body kit) and goes faster.

Sure, the 330 makes even more of the wrong sorts of noises when you're cruising the highway, but this kind of car never makes you wish for some peace and quiet. The instant you get in, those devil horns shoot out, the clouds cave in, thunder begins, cracks in the earth appear and an uncontrollable urge to play takes over you. But, you have to play this game dirty; an Evo X wouldn't have it any other way. It's a real hoodlum and takes you along for the ride. You can't help it. I'm not proud of it, but I got addicted, I fell for its evil charms.

I'm clean now though, the man from Ralliart UAE once again came and snatched the keys.

This car turns anybody into a drift king/midnight rider/Tommi Makinen/suicidal hooligan hybrid. I don't know whether that's a good thing, but my experience with the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X twin-clutch SST 330 left me with a heart beat higher than its horsepower count. It's so sweet.

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