English singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor has written an emotional account of when she says she was raped at the age of 17 by an older musician.
In the excerpt from her book ‘Spinning Plates’ released by The Daily Mail, the ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ star recounted the incident that took place 25 years ago.
The 42-year-old singer wrote that she was out with her friends for a gig and ended up talking to an older man who was in a band. “I felt flattered,” Ellis-Bextor wrote.
She said the man, who she calls Jim, invited her back to his apartment and they began to get intimate. However, she said he didn’t listen to her when she wanted to stop.
“I heard myself saying ‘No’ and ‘I don’t want to’, but it didn’t make any difference,” Ellis-Bextor wrote. “He didn’t listen to me and he had sex with me and I felt so ashamed. It was how I lost my virginity and I felt stupid. I remember staring at Jim’s bookcases and thinking: I just have to let this happen now.”
The ‘Wild Forever’ singer explained why she wanted to talk about it many years later.
“At the time, the way rape was talked about wasn’t to do with consent — it was something you associated with aggression. But no one had pinned me down or shouted at me to make me comply, so why should I feel so violated?” Ellis-Bextor said. “I have thought so much about why I wanted to write about this. My life is happy now and I would not say that I felt overly traumatised at the time, and yet I feel as if the culture that surrounded me — the things I saw and read and the way sex was discussed — made me believe I didn’t have a case.”
Despite revisiting the assault, Ellis-Bextor says she won’t be revealing the person’s identity.
“I am not interested in naming and shaming the guy involved,” she wrote. “I’ve asked myself why it’s important to write about these experiences. Why go over something that wasn’t very pleasant? Why make it public? But I think if you experience something you know is wrong, then being brave and honest about it helps, and if anyone else has been through something similar, it might help us all talk about it.”
Ellis-Bextor has been married to musician Richard Jones since 2005 and they have five sons together. The singer, who has six studio albums to her name, will release her book ‘Spinning Plates’ on October 7.