It is the same old story all over again

New in Town? Hardly.

There's nothing novel about this overly familiar farce, a creaky romantic-comedy-fish-out-of-water tale about a corporate executive (Renee Zellweger) who finds herself temporarily reassigned from sunny Miami to small-town Minnesota in the dead of winter.

You know, where it gets really cold. And where people talk funny and have names such as Blanche and Harve Gunderson (shades of Fargo, anyone?).

I could listen to these yahoos say “braunschweiger'', “glockenspiel'' and “snickerdoodle'' — in their flat Midwestern accents — all day.

Then again, I have some income tax paperwork I've been putting off. That might be more fun.

Seriously, though, watching New in Town left me feeling as pained as Zellweger looks in her role as Lucy Hill.

Throughout much of the movie, the actress's face is a frozen mask of misery, which only melts after meeting truck-driving, plaid-wearing Ted (Harry Connick Jr, who played basically the same role in the equally awful Hope Floats).

Predictable plot

Of course, stale formulas dictate Ted and Lucy have to act as if they hate each other.

That is, until the handsome widower and single dad — all together now — rescues the career-obsessed singleton when her car gets stuck in a blizzard, making her re-evaluate her big-city priorities in the face of true love and a near-death experience.

What, you didn't see that coming? In that case, you'll be on the edge of your seat when you learn that Lucy's company isn't planning to just lay off half the local manufacturing plant's workforce but to shut the whole place down.

But that would put the whole town out of work. And just when Lucy was starting to fit in with the real America!

I won't spoil it for you then. All others will find few pleasures, let alone surprises.

Even the normally enjoyable character actor J.K. Simmons — hiding beneath a bushy beard and fake accent as plant foreman Stu Kopenhafer — looks less like a working stiff than someone who has entered the witness-protection programme.

And, really, who can blame him?

As Lucy remarks at one point, this whole endeavour looks like the world's coldest theme park.