Selma Blair is crying out for help as her battle with multiple sclerosis continues to consume her with pain and fear.
In a lengthy and emotional message shared on Instagram on Tuesday, the ‘American Crime Story’ actress opened up about the extreme mental and physical challenges she is facing as a result of the autoimmune disease.
“This is the thing. I feel sick,” she wrote on Instagram. “It is long nights. Almost all nights. My muscles in my face and neck are in spasm. Or so tight I can’t even find a way to stretch. And I have been trying for three hours. On the ground stretching. I have had the stomach flu. ... And I am even more sideways now.”
This time last year, Blair earned praise and inspired others with a courageous and stunning public appearance — cane, gown and all — at an Oscars after-party just months after revealing her diagnosis. Now, two days after the 2020 Academy Awards, she admitted there is “no bright light or glamour” in her life.
“I am still feeling alone and vulnerable and scared about the future as a single mom,” she said. “I’m not dying any more than anyone. I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down. So there’s a truth to give to anyone else feeling this way. It’s just miserable. And scary. To feel unwell. I am so sorry. ... I don’t know what else to do and I want so much to do better. May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves. I am in a slow time. I need to recover. I want to recover. And I don’t know what that even really means.”
Since October 2018, Blair, 47, has been hailed as a hero, putting on a brave face while discussing her health issues on TV or at events for the world to see. In May, the Race to Erase MS gala honoured the ‘Cruel Intentions’ star, who took the podium and powered through her new speech limitations to thank attendees for their support.
“I’m really happy,” she said at the time. “I am really happy that you are all here and that I get this chance to speak for so many people who don’t get a chance to speak.”
Despite her debilitating symptoms, Blair still managed to express some optimism on Tuesday about her progress.
“I am not killed by it. I am strong enough not to be taken down any more than the average bear,” she said. “That’s great news. Excellent reassurance. I recover.”
In February of last year, Blair explained her decision to speak publicly about MS, recalled the relief she felt when she was finally diagnosed and declared she was “doing very well.”
“My neurologist told me, ‘No, this will bring a lot of awareness because no one has the energy to talk when they’re in a flare-up,’” she told ‘Good Morning America,’ adding, “But I do, because I love a camera.”