Alternate endings are now flying through the internet with the speed of Dany on a dragon’s back. After that cringe-worthy episode that defies GoT logic, I’m not surprised. The show known for blood and gore, tactics and terrible terrible twists has become a tame creature that needs to be put down. But before we go there, here’s a look at an alternate universe that would calm my little black GOT-loving heart. [We know it doesn't cover everything, but these are the niggling threads we care about.]
1. Daenerys Targaryen
Can the Mad Queen actually be sane? Game of Thrones is great at showing things from a pinhole perspective, so what if all we saw was Dany panicking and rushing – perhaps she saw wildfire goblets tilting towards the innocents? Perhaps a moat of fire was the only alternative to stop Cersei’s plans to unleash something catastrophic (if she couldn’t have the throne, it just would not exist.)
Even if you take away Dany’s history as the breaker of chains…speaker of many names, consider this: her battle strategy was epic. It was a coherent use of tactics to strong arm the city and the Lannisters. While the men stood on either side of the great castle, eyeing each other as the wind swept curtains of sand, she roared in on Drogon and laid siege to the city, in turn saving many, many casualties. She told Tyrion of his brother Jamie’s capture, knowing full well his life had been saved many times over by the one-handed blonde. She knew he would release the prisoner, who would join Cersei and die; that Tyrion, whose loyalty has been shaky since the death of Samwell Tarly’s brother and father, would abandon his post but in her mercy she could allow him an escape.
As leader of her pack, she also placed Jon Snow in the line of death – but what about the fact that he betrayed her? In claiming his lineage – even to ‘family’ – he has extended his arm towards the crown and in turn taken a step towards treason.
It seems like she is moving the pieces on the board with all the dexterity of trained player of the game of thrones. Mad? Meh! She’s just Dany – first of her name and queen of all seven kingdoms.
2. Tyrion Lannister
This little twisted midget has been one of my favourite characters. Humour dipped in gasoline and fired by the spark of wit – he is magnificent. He’s gone from a troublemaking womanizer to know-it-all wine drinker to the hand of the queen. It’s time for him to become a dish for the dragon. Perhaps he could go to Winterfell first though and play nice with the Stark family. (Sansa did say he was the nicest of the husbands she has had).
3. Arya Stark
Well, if watching her father beheaded, brothers killed and meeting No-one hasn’t given her PTSD yet, surely the last episode did. The Hound has died; the little girl she was trying to save was burnt to toast; and she is the only survivor. The only thing that makes sense for Arya is for her to retire to the Great Wall and take her rightful place as the leader of a new Night's Watch. Oh come on, ‘Lord Gendry’ is busy – let her keep the world safe for now.
4. Bran Stark
In the interest of keeping things ‘Game of Throne’-y, let’s say Bran is not the super good guy he’s been peddling himself as. What if the only reason after centuries the Night King decided to come south of the wall was to stop the ultimate evil – someone with powers that would equal him, his successor if you will (he has green sight)? Once the Night King is dead and Weirwood Tree is available to him, he is free to use magic (perhaps he has some/has learnt some) to turn into the ultimate baddie. [Guys, I feel a spin-off coming on.]
5. Brienne of Tarth
Ok so Brienne has had a bit of a bad time – bad Ser Jamie - and needs a break from men in general. [She’s also never really been so into them.] Yeah, you know where we are going with this. If she stays with Arya, she can do her thang – learn new moves and keep her promise the Catherine Stark – taking care of one of the Stark girls. Plus – come on, let’s do something for woman empowerment, no?
6. Sansa Stark
Ah, now therapy is something I’d really like to offer this one, but the way I see it, with Tyrion by her side and the respect of the Northerners as the Lady of Winterfell, it’ll take two-maybe three years before she decides to take on Dany – what say?
7. Jon Snow
Mr. Snow, aka Aegon Targaryen, aka all-around good boy who is the rightful heir to the throne. I should like for him to find Rhaegal – surely it’s not so easy to kill a dragon? (Doesn’t it defeat the point of everything powerful and right in GOT if it is?) Thinking Dany has gone mad, he may think it his duty to put the ‘poor woman’ out of her misery. Perhaps he wants to ride Rhaegal – who, being gender fluid as dragons are is off protecting her pregnant belly, perhaps off giving birth. Perhaps he steps forward and as Rhaegal seems to consider Jon’s offer. And then there is a splurt of blood, for another ittle baby dragon DOESN’T LIKE GRANDMA DANY being treated like dirt. No dracarys needed boy. This one is for the Breaker of Chains and for the good direwolf Ghost. Jon Snow, you truly know nothing.