Globes sober up

Where, you'd be right in asking, was the looniness? The unhingey-ness? What happened to the ribald Golden Globes we've come to count on?

That trademark feeling of bubbliness and disorganised bumbliness of Hollywood's lovably unpolished annual kickoff to awards season? Well, it was present here and there. But whatever hopes viewers held that host Ricky Gervais would have the stars rolling in the aisle at Sunday night's ceremony went largely unfulfilled from the minute he started taking crusty I-did-The Office-first jabs at Steve Carell.

Add Gervais to a long list of rogues who are chosen to break barriers as awards show hosts and fall a tad flat. He made jokes about NBC, of course: "I'm not used to these sort of viewing figures," he said. "Let's face it, neither is NBC."

He also made jokes about plastic surgery, congratulating the stars on the great work done over the year — by their plastic surgeons. At that punch line, the camera hurriedly cut away from Streep and went for a long shot, seemingly unable to figure out who in a ballroom full of taut foreheads and curvy cheekbones to safely close in on.

Tom Hanks had one of the best jabs of the night when he presented Julie & Julia as the movie in which Meryl Streep "does not sleep with Alec Baldwin, but... with Stanley Tucci. By any measure, a substantial move up." Gervais, perking up (and drinking up) lifted a glass of nicety to the audience. "I like to drink as much as the next man," he said. "Unless the next man is Mel Gibson."

Gibson, no stranger to a DUI, took it in stride, even briefly pretending to be drunk as he prepared to introduce the director nominees.

Gervais' finest moment?

"Actors aren't just loved here in Hollywood, they're loved the world over, because they're recognisable. You can be in the Third World, and you get a glimpse of a Hollywood star, and it makes you feel better. You can be a little child, a little Asian child, with no possessions, no money — but you see a picture of Angelina Jolie and you think, ‘Mummy!'"

Jon Hamm spent much of the show in the bar/smoke lounge with girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt (when asked what they were doing, she answered, "Drinking, it's what you do here.") and his beard. The scruff is for his flick The Town, directed by Ben Affleck and costarring Blake Lively. Hamm is keeping the beard at the request of filmmakers — possibly for additional filming.

Eli Roth, the man who killed Adolf Hitler in Inglourious Basterds, was especially gleeful about getting access to the Globes.

"I slicked down my hair; I was looking for a Rudolph Valentino look, and, you know, the weather cooperated. It was great out there on the red carpet. It was like a wet T-shirt contest, but with the top talent in Hollywood. The best Golden Globes win."

Now we know exactly why Mariah Carey's hubby Nick Cannon couldn't wipe the smile off his face. And Halle Berry proved she's still got assets aplenty.

Backstage, Meryl Streep was asked if she cooks. "I have four children and I cooked constantly and for many years, but not well. It's more fun now that it's me and my husband."

Paul McCartney, presenting the award for best animated film to |Up, said animated films are not just for children; they also appeal to "adults who take drugs".

What a comeback!

Robert Downey Jr and his Iron Man on-screen nemesis Jeff Bridges were reunited. "Look at this guy," Downey said, as he embraced his Hollywood elder who, for years, has lived far north of LA. "You finding more people willing to drive up to Santa Barbara these days?"

Ahead of the show, Downey Jr cracked, "I always think I'm going to win. I just feel if I'm not on my side, why should anyone else be?" But once he had his award, he thanked the one person who's always been on his side: frequent producing collaborator Joel Silver, the "guy that's only restarted my career 12 times since I began 25 years ago".

Golden Wedgies

"This is for anybody and everybody who ever got a wedgie in high school," said creator Ryan Murphy, the brains behind Glee, flanked by his cast.

Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest tweeted: micky rourke just gave me a wedgie!!! ouch!

Stars on struggling network NBC

On the lighter side, Julia Roberts took her few minutes with the entertainment news programme Access Hollywood to mock NBC for its low ratings and late-night troubles. "NBC — I mean, you guys are in the toilet right now," Roberts said to a stunned interviewer.

Host Ricky Gervais joked: "Let's get on with it [the show] before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno."

Tina Fey cracked: "It's not rain. It's just God crying for NBC."

Stars on Haiti

"I'm going to use it as a recruiting tool, because there's a lot of people here we want to work on the telethon on Friday night," George Clooney said in an interview.

"I'm going to go table to table with a pocketful of phone numbers."

"Put on a smile," Meryl Streep said her mother might tell her, "and be grateful that you have the dollars to help and the next day, and the next day, and the next day."

James Cameron and friends

James Cameron was a centre of attention in the ballroom, partly because his front-and-centre table included California's governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose acting career took off with his performance as a cyborg in Cameron's Terminator films.

"Avatar asks us to see that everything is connected, all human beings to each other, and us to the Earth. And if you have to go four and a half light years to another, made-up planet to appreciate this miracle of the world that we have right here, well, you know what, that's the wonder of cinema right there, that's the magic," Cameron said. As he accepted the directing Globe, Cameron had kind words for ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow, nominated as best director for The Hurt Locker. "Frankly, I thought Kathryn was going to get this. She richly deserves it."

Mr & Mrs... Butler?

Rumours Jennifer Aniston is once again after her latest co-star Gerard Butler have been further fuelled by their close encounters at this year's Golden Globes Awards ceremony.

Whether true or not, the couple will be spending more time together as they set off to promote their film The Bounty this month.

Get sucked into the gossip and you'll also believe the pair have signed up for a steamy photo shoot with US GQ magazine where they really will reveal all — if you know what we mean... The shoot hopes to rival Jen's ex, Brad Pitt and Angelina's similar shoot for Mr & Mrs Smith.

Asked what would happen to her hair if it got wet, Sandra Bullock responded, "Chia Pet."