We’re just turning the calendar to December, and already awards shows are popping up fast and furious, keeping statue assembly line elves working long into the nights. The Gotham Awards were Monday. Something called the National Board of Review announced its nominees Tuesday. The New York Film Critics Circle and Broadcast Film Critics Association. will reveal their slates Thursday.
And on Friday they rested. Because none of us can’t keep up with awards season.
Which is why we decided to rank the awards shows, letting you know which groups to watch and which to ignore. No need to thank us ... unless you win one of these things someday. Then you damn well better mention us in your acceptance speech. (Except if it’s a Hollywood Film Award, that is.)
1) Oscars
Established: 1929
Ranking rationale: Everything else owes its existence and advertising to this show, which began its life as an afterthought to studio mogul Louis B. Mayer’s desire to scuttle guilds and labour unions. Hurrah for Hollywood!
High point: From the show: Cher’s Bob Mackie era, David Niven’s improv reaction to a streaker in 1974. From the awards: How about Martin Scorsese finally winning the director Oscar for The Departed in 2007?
Low point: From the show: We Saw Your Boobs in 2013. From the awards: The King’s Speech winning best picture over The Social Network in 2011.
When is it?: February 26, 2017.
2) Golden Globes
Established: 1944
Ranking rationale: Hollywood Foreign Press Association. membership remains as sketchy as ever, even if its voters aren’t making wacky choices as often as they used to. But network ratings legitimise the group and its awards — sort of. Anyway, it’s usually a fun night and much better television than the Oscars.
High point: For a classic Globes mixture of star power and inebriation, it doesn’t get better than a plastered Elizabeth Taylor presenting best picture drama in 2001.
Low point: And the 1982 award for New Star of the Year ... Pia Zadora!
When is it?: January 7, 2017.
3) Screen Actors Guild Awards
Established: 1995
Ranking rationale: Actors! The world revolves around them — or so they think. The winners here often go on to win Oscars. Also, the cast award is always a fun way to see a film’s entire ensemble together — though if Jennifer Lawrence is involved, there should be a rule that she must give the speech.
High point: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to diverse TV,” Idris Elba quipped in January after Viola Davis’ win for How to Get Away With Murder. Elba won two SAG awards, including an honour for his work in the movie Beasts of No Nation, just weeks after the Oscars took a PR hit for failing to nominate any actors of colour for a second straight year.
Low point: Nominees on the television side are more typically two years behind the curve.
When is it?: January 29, 2017.
4) Directors Guild Awards
Established: 1938
Ranking rationale: Auteurs! The world actually does revolve around them. Plus, it’s almost an ironclad Oscar predictor. Only seven DGA winners have not gone on to win the Academy Award, most recently (and famously) Ben Affleck.
High point: Martin Scorsese and Joel and Ethan Coen on the same stage, as the former presented the brothers top honours for No Country for Old Men in 2008. (Judging from the way he gave the envelope a second look, we think Scorsese might have believed Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood should have won.)
Low point: Rob Marshall’s Chicago prevailing over Roman Polanski’s The Pianist in 2003. Plus too many actors winning for movies that haven’t held up particularly well. (C’mon, directors! Close your ranks!)
When is it?: February 6, 2017.
5) Producers Guild Awards
Established: 1990
Ranking rationale: The PGA uses the same preferential voting ballot that the academy employs, meaning its winner usually goes on to take best picture. Except when it doesn’t, as was the case last year with The Big Short taking the PGA and Spotlight winning the Oscar.
High point: The top-prize tie between 12 Years a Slave and Gravity in 2014 made pundits’ heads explode.
Low point: The King’s Speech won here too.
When is it?: January 28, 2017.
6) Film Independent Spirit Awards
Established: 1984
Ranking rationale: Loose ceremony held in a tent on the beach in Santa Monica the day before the Oscars. Could stand to be looser with choices, though, as winners too often mirror the Oscars.
High point: Bill Murray’s win for Lost in Translation in 2004, demonstrating why it would have been awesome if he, and not Sean Penn, had gone on to win the Oscar. “I have no prepared remarks,” Murray began. “I didn’t feel that would be independent.”
Low point: Silver Linings Playbook, a borderline indie at best, sweeps the Spirits in 2013, leading many to question the Film Independent show’s mission and/or point.
When is it?: February 25, 2017.
7) Writers Guild Awards
Established: 1949
Ranking rationale: The nominations never include the entirety of the film year’s best as some screenwriters don’t belong to the guild and many movies are not guild signatories.
High point: The great Harold Ramis receives a posthumous career honour in 2014, continuing a welcome willingness on the part of the guild to acknowledge that superb comic writing deserves recognition too.
Low point: Simultaneous ceremonies in New York and Los Angeles can ruin the suspense when the West Coast show lags behind.
When is it?: February 19, 2017.
8) Los Angeles Film Critics Association, New York Film Critics Circle and National Society of Film Critics
Established: 1975, 1935, 1966, respectively
Ranking rationale: LAFCA and NYFCC, early December voters, can establish an outsider movie’s awards legitimacy. The LA group’s recognition of George Miller last year helped propel Mad Max: Fury Road to 10 Oscar nominations.
High point: LA critics group gives Terry Gilliam’s then-unreleased Brazil best picture, director and screenplay in 1985, prompting Universal studio head Sidney Sheinberg to put Gilliam’s cut of the movie in theatres.
Low point: New York critics opt for insanely early voting date beginning in 2011, putting a priority on “First!” rather than best.
When are they?: Los Angeles Film Critics Association: January 14, 2017
New York Film Critics Circle: Was held on December 1
National Society of Film Critics: Was held in October
9) British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards
Established: 1948
Ranking rationale: Oscars equivalent for the tea-and-crumpet crowd. In 2001, Bafta moved its ceremony date so it’d take place before the Oscars. Because there’s a small overlap between Bafta and Oscar voters, pundits strain to parse meaning from the winners. It’s minimal.
High point: Picking Boyhood over Birdman in 2015.
Low point: The King’s Speech won here too.
When is it?: April 7, 2017.
10) Critics’ Choice Awards
Established: 1996
Ranking rationale: Broadcast Film Critics Association. event that prides itself on predicting the Oscars. Never met a category it couldn’t engrave — there’s a best action movie, a best comedy and a best picture, along with animated feature and foreign film prizes. (Let’s hope westerns don’t make a comeback.)
High point: TV deal with A&E.
Low point: Just this year: Ridiculously early vote date precludes consideration of late-breaking movies like Scorsese’s Silence. Prominent members resign after group announces marketing partnership with Entertainment Weekly.
When is it?: December 11, 2016.
