A quest for the self

Ask Aziza Alaoui where she is from and chances are she will just flash a killer smile and then ask you: "Does it really matter?" Given that she is half-German, half-Moroccan, lives in Mexico, speaks French, English, Spanish, Arabic, is learning Italian and just returned from a trek through Guatemala, she has a point.

"Yes, one's identity is important, in the sense that where your parents are from or where you live make a huge difference to the way you are. But then I wonder how relevant it is to our responsibilities as humans in the grand scheme of things."

Though armed with an MBA in marketing, Alaoui recalls having always gravitated towards art. She adds that her family's appreciation of the arts also helped.

"I think it was moving to Mexico that really saw the artist in me break out," she says.

"It is such a colourful society. The nature and the people are just so wonderful and when I moved there as a pregnant woman it was not too hard to settle in. Also, the culture of encouraging and patronising art is quite strong, which helped me discover my calling."

The shift to Puebla, a city of 3 million, located about one-and-a-half hours away from Mexico City was a move at the right time as the art movement there was thriving and Alaoui found herself among art collectors and people with a sensitivity towards art.

"The more I got into the scene, the more I was convinced that painting was something I had to do. I took a few classes and attended a few workshops. Nothing major though, but I kept in touch with many of the artists that I came into contact with and always kept myself abreast of contemporary art happenings in New York's Museum of Modern Art and the Guggenheim," she says.

Alaoui's Arab ancestry enhanced curiosity about her work. "Back then, I was quite an oddity to the Mexican people and for sure it opened more doors, or at least quicker. And of course, it made sure that I wasn't forgotten too easily," she says.

Alaoui's first paintings were good enough to merit an exhibition which sold out. Describing the show as "highly successful", she admits it was responsible for motivating her to continue painting. "It is all very well to paint for yourself but you can't always do it just for yourself. That is what I thought anyways," she says.

It was an intermission of sorts. "A few years ago I had to stop." After a pause, she says: "Things were moving too fast.

"I took my atelier outside. I closed the doors and I started meditating. I just felt the need to get inside. With the spiral of success, it is so easy to lose yourself. And I wanted to paint to find myself, not lose."

A return to roots

This phase of introspection proved to be the perfect cure for her exhausted soul. "I discovered myself again and found my peace with painting again."

Her subjects changed too. "I started rediscovering my history and was brought back to the Arab world," she says.

Having lived in Mexico for 18 years, Alaoui had spent a large part of her artistic career working on portraits. However, an image of a young Palestinian boy on television — visibly hardened by the sights and sounds surrounding him — prompted her to embark on new challenges.

"This boy had watched his father die at the breakfast table and I was immediately driven to work on a series of paintings and installations called Palestinian Breakfast. There is an ironic saying in Mexico that ‘We are so close to the US and so far from God', so I guess I felt this need to bring out another voice," she says.

One of Alaoui's many efforts, a festival scheduled for September 11, 2001 celebrating Arab civilisation, had an incredible response due to its ironic timing. The 9/11 attacks sparked an unprecedented level of interest in all things Arab. Alaoui's programme, which featured lecturers from the Middle East, debates on Occidental versus Oriental, women in Islam, Islamic architecture and activities for children built around the 1001 Nights, was just what people wanted then.

"My own artistic inspirations changed. I have moved on from portraits, even though people say it is my strength, to landscapes.

"Landscapes are very different in that they involve your own nature. It is more than just a copy — you have to interpret it. I find painting landscapes a very intense experience."

Citing Picasso as her best example for exemplifying an artistic career, Alaoui is determined to paint for herself and not for commercial purposes. "It would, without a doubt, be a betrayal of my self if I surrendered to people's expectations," she says.