With self-help, excess positivity can turn into a load of toxicity

An always-on positive mindset can have such a harmful impact on individuals

Last updated:
2 MIN READ
It pays to be be positive, but overdoing it can set off many negative triggers.
It pays to be be positive, but overdoing it can set off many negative triggers.
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Being pressurized to be positive at all times can be more damaging than negativity itself.

Being positive is the tendency to be optimistic. Can someone be positive all the time? Is it a realistic expectation in the ‘fake it until you make it’ world of social media?

To understand this, one needs to understand the fundamentals of life.

Life is like a wheel with its mix of ups and downs. When an individual is at the top of the wheel, any positivity works well. As soon as the wheel veers towards the down cycle, the individual is hit with a low phase, which is why fake positivity can hit hard and turn toxic.

There is clearly something wrong with our understanding of the positivity equation.

This is because of denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience. People feel ashamed about natural authentic emotions and try to cover it with excess positivity. Suppressing authentic emotions does not help anyone.

While healthy positivity does not exclude natural emotions, it shades light in the darkness of an unresourceful state and, most importantly, elevates it towards the resourceful state.

To create healthy positivity, people need:

  • Listeners and not soothsayers.
  • Solution providers and not just positive talkers.
  • Empathy and compassion, not heckling.
  • Simple words like ‘I understand what you are going through…’ is the game-changer for millions faking unresolved emotions, unresourceful states, and unheard inner voices.

    Accept the emotions and feel. The moment you accept it, experience and detach yourself from it, overcoming it becomes easier.

  • Rather than saying ‘Be positive’ or ‘Don’t be so negative’, say “What are you going to do about it. Is there any help that I can offer you?’
  • Rather than ‘Don’t feel like that, just stay positive’, how about ‘Please share your feelings as I am listening’.
  • Set healthy boundaries with people who pass this toxic positivity on your experience. Embrace the imperfect life over a fake all-time happy emotion. Don’t let the internal turmoil build up and erupt into a panic attack and onto acute depression.

    Toxic positivity is faking that there is no problem. Healthy positivity is addressing the unresolved emotions and moving towards a resourceful state. From inaction to action.

    Neetu Choudhary
    Neetu Choudhary
    Neetu Choudhary
    The writer is founder and CEO of Evolvitude FZE.

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