Kerala women’s deaths in UAE: Why marriages turn toxic for Indian couples abroad

What’s happening to young Kerala women in the UAE? Two deaths in two weeks in Sharjah have sent shockwaves through the community from the southern Indian state. Initial reports suggest marital discord. If that’s true, why wasn’t it addressed earlier?

Every marriage faces strain at some point. The early days can be especially challenging, once the initial euphoria of conjugal bliss fades. This is often more pronounced in arranged marriages, though love marriages too are not immune to the pressures of building a life together.

Whatever the stress factors, a successful marriage requires effort from both partners. Having vowed to care for each other in sickness and in health, couples must learn to prioritise each other. When either partner prioritises their own interests over the relationship, it begins to crumble.

The husband and wife bear equal responsibility in keeping the marriage afloat through life’s inevitable storms. When cracks appear, the couple themselves are usually the first to notice — and they must take the initiative to repair the damage. While family and friends can offer support, over-reliance on them can do more harm than good. Outside interference often carries bias, leaving one partner disillusioned, deepening the divide.

While every effort should be made to resolve differences, it’s equally important to recognise when a marriage cannot be saved. Parents and in-laws, often guided by values from another era, may urge compromise and endurance — virtues that frequently place women on the receiving end of continued abuse and emotional neglect. This is true for men too.

But why should anyone suffer in silence? No one should remain trapped in an abusive marriage. A relationship without mutual respect is destined to fail. Yet too often, parents dismiss serious issues as minor hiccups and pressure youngsters to stay.

That’s when things can spiral. The arrival of a child only adds complexity. Post-partum challenges and the demands of childcare can leave women vulnerable. In these moments, a supportive partner is essential. Without that, the marriage begins to drift, and sometimes ends in tragedy.

There’s a belief that having children can “fix” a troubled marriage. But the cases of Vipanchika Mani and Athulya Shekar, both young mothers living in Sharjah with their husbands, suggest otherwise.

Isolated and far from their support systems, even everyday stress can feel overwhelming, and larger problems become insurmountable. Parents back home may not be equipped to offer the right advice, particularly when the couple’s reality differs starkly from the parents’ own experiences.

So what can young couples do? Seek help from a professional counsellor. Marriage counsellors, experienced in navigating a wide range of relationship issues, can offer practical support and may refer couples to specialists if needed.

If counselling doesn’t help, the couple must have the courage to part ways. That’s often easier said than done. Social stigma remains a major barrier. Divorce is still taboo in many communities, despite being increasingly common. Society’s disapproval and the persistent “What will people say?” mindset can drive young people to the brink when their marriage collapses.

How can we prevent such tragedies? By fostering awareness. Young couples and their families must understand that not all marriages last. And that’s okay. Some relationships end. That doesn’t mean life ends. Go separate ways. Find another partner. Or find joy in living solo.