India: Friend’s suicide inspires woman to launch initiative

New Delhi: Having lost a dear friend to suicide last year, Hyderabad-based Aarti Nagpal has taken it upon herself to help youngsters overcome academic stress and relationship issues. The 21-year-old started an online initiative Sahara – Helping Hand, with a few like-minded friends and together the team takes it upon themselves to help save lives.

“The concept of Sahara had been there in my mind for quite sometime and though it was not solely initiated by the action of my friend, it hastened my decision to work towards it,” Aarti said. “The incident affected me a lot personally.”

After her friend’s death, Aarti says she found out that a surprising number of students she knew had attempted suicide. “Dealing with them and the issues concerned has made me grow as a person and I feel compassionate towards others,” she said.

“Youth take extreme steps on the spur of the moment, without realising that every problem has a solution. The only need is to find answers within us. Pressures of balancing studies, careers and relationships...take their toll on adolescents and they remain confused and left out.”

Aarti says her initiative aims to empower such people and instil self-confidence in them so that they have a positive attitude towards life.

Connecting with youth between the ages of 18 to 30, Aarti claimed that people approaching her know that the information they share with Sahara will remain confidential. “I lost my friend because she did not share her problems. If only she had discussed with me, I would not have let her take the extreme step,” she said.

She plans to soon register Sahara as an NGO and build a website to extend her reach beyond the borders of India.

Aarti speaks to Gulf News in an exclusive interview.

GULF NEWS: Have you been able to decipher the reason and issues behind your friend’s suicide?

AARTI NAGPAL: Unfortunately, the reason behind her suicide remains unknown, as different people say different things. And at this age, in many cases, it becomes difficult even for parents to know what is going on in their child’s mind.

Was there ever a feeling of guilt that though you considered the victim your friend, the two of you never shared problems?

No, I never faced any such guilt because the reason for the suicide still remains unknown. However, I do try to help many more now who approach Sahara and see to it that their questions do not go unanswered and motivate them to lead a positive life.

How does Sahara go about offering solutions to youngsters in need?

The aim of counselling in real terms is not to provide a quick fix solution, but help them understand how they can cope with the situation. Initially, I just listen and let them vent their emotions. Thereafter, I prompt them to look at the problem from a new perspective and think of possible ways of solving it. I do not want to be biased by pushing my views, opinions and solutions. Instead, I aim at helping them to come up with solutions and work on those.

Do you interact only via email or make it a point to also meet them, for, not all of them might be comfortable with writing?

As of now, the only mode of communication is through emails and in rare cases I talk to them over the phone. Since Sahara is still in its initial stage, we are working to make it available for people to meet and discuss with us on a one-to-one basis. It is correct that not everyone is comfortable writing, but it has its own advantages. For instance, the person may find it easy to open up since he/she cannot be seen and there is a minimal chance of their identity being revealed, hence no stigma attached.

What further role do you play in case you find it is beyond your capacity of assistance?

In such a scenario, the person is referred to a recognised counsellor, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. We help people gain informational support and constantly follow it up to make sure they are in the right hands.

Is your work restricted only to Hyderabad and how do people get to know of Sahara?

I get emails from people residing in others cities as well, including Delhi, Mumbai, Bengaluru and other parts of Andhra Pradesh such as: Warangal, Kurnool and Vijayawada. We have not employed any marketing strategy and our services are provided free-of-cost. People approach me through word-of-mouth and the convenient way is to email on: sahara.helpinghand@gmail.com

Have you kept track of the number of people you have helped and the oft-repeated problems?

I am not sure of the number of cases I have dealt with till date, but on an average I receive about 15 emails every month. And more often, these are from my own age group people, hence related to career choices, relationships, adjustment issues with family and friends and rarely of sexual abuse.

Being a psychologist, what do you feel — why do people hesitate to confide in family and friends about their problems?

They are reluctant to open up in front of those known to them for fear of being judged, criticised or mocked or because of not receiving any satisfactory answer or solution in the past. That’s the reason why we go a step ahead and support them find solutions, which help them to deal with their emotions.

How have your parents reacted towards your initiative?

They are both very supportive and believe that whatever I am doing is for a just cause. And though I am in final year pursuing my Masters’, I juggle between studies and my mission and am able to strike a balance to ensure that neither suffers.