'I was forced to marry a stranger'

Dhaka: A Bangladeshi doctor whose parents held her captive for four months in Dhaka said on Wednesday she had been forced to wed a stranger and was trying to annul the marriage.

Humayra Abedin, 32, left Dhaka for Britain on Monday after a Bangladeshi court ruled on Sunday that her parents were holding her against her will and that she should be freed.

"On November 14, 2008, I was forced to marry a person of my parents' choice. I did not consent to the marriage. I have given my solicitors instructions to urgently issue proceedings in this country for a Decree of Nullity to be obtained on my behalf," he said in a statement issued by her lawyer in London.

In this day and age, do you think arranged marriages can be successful? Are you for or against arranged marriages? Do you think they are more successful than love marriages?

Years come and go. Arranged marriages have their unique importance. It is not just two people getting united but one should look back at older generations, too. Love is neither temporary nor permanent. I am not saying that all love marriages are a failure and I do not deny that arranged marriages have not failed. Young people should wait till they are mature enough to think on these lines and need to convince their parents for arranging the marriages.
Sudhakar
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 14:24

I am against arranged marriages. You neither know the person nor their background. It is better to select your own partner in life. If it fails then no body is blamed but yourself. Parents should give freedom to their children. We, as parents, have to support them in good as well as tough times.
Rey Arada
Iloilo City,Philippines
Posted: December 18, 2008, 14:04

I got married four years ago to a complete stranger exactly a week after they sent the proposal. My husband was in Dubai and no one had even seen his picture. My dad saw him 10 minutes before our wedding. Today, I am very happy. Apart from two of my cousins, my whole family had arranged marriages to strangers and are all still happily married. From experience, this is why I feel that arranged marriages are successful. I also strongly believe that whether it is arranged or based on love, it all depends on how each spouse understands the other, gives them space and supports them.
Fatima
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 13:38

Any marriage can be succesful if it is built on mutual love, respect and understanding. Therefore, it hardly matters whether two people meet with the help of parents or themselves. Love happens if there is respect and understanding. Simply put, any marriage can work if both the partners are willing to work for it.
Daizy N. Khan
Sohar,Oman
Posted: December 18, 2008, 12:36

In my opinion, both arranged and love marriages have their ups and downs. It is the chemistry of two hearts that matters the most. They should have a lot of patience and understanding. Three things a married couple should keep close to their hearts to have a successful married life are: sincerity, honesty and being faithful.
S. R. Varma
Abu Dhabi,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 12:10

I married based on love but there is nothing wrong in an arranged marriage, as long as there is a mutual understanding between the two. Strangely, I feel that these days arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages. Usually, when young people are courting they do not portray who they are truly and try to impress the other by molding themselves to please the other. After marriage when you live together, all these hidden flaws start coming out. Misunderstandings develop and more surprisingly most of the romance disappears, which leads to broken hearts and marriages. Some of us are just too much in love and completely change ourselves to save the marriage. Trust me, it is very difficult to do all the changing. But in arranged marriages, I guess the couple gets to explore each other and I sense there is no room to impress, as they have to accept each other for who they are.
Fiona
Mumbai,India
Posted: December 18, 2008, 11:57

Any marriage can be successful, whether it is arranged or based on love, that is only if both partners feel comfortable with each other.
Naresh
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 11:53

Well, I think an arranged marriage is the best way to go, as you would always have your parents responsible for the after effects. You will always have their support if any problems arise. Marriage is not just a relationship between two people but between two families. It is not just about love, there is more responsibility and understanding needed. It is so beautiful to know your partner first and then fall in love with him or her. But if you are in love already and get married then that love might fade away very soon as your expectations about your partner maybe that he or she would always be with you saying nice things as at the time of your romance. However, when you start life with a partner, responsibilities will start building up and there will not be much time for romance. Therefore, when your expectations are not fulfilled there will be clashes.
Ponnie Ajikumar
Sharjah,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:59

In this generation I believe love marriage is the answer, rather than an arranged marriage. Love always binds people together. However arrangingto love does not usually work.
Mehnaz
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:54

Now a days, I think arranged marriages will have a low level for success, as compared to love marriages. I think this is because people are becoming more open-minded.
Charry
Sharjah,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:51

I think arranged marriages and love marriages could both be successful. It depends on each case.
Leila
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:47

Both arranged and love marriages are more likely to fail in future. The most successful marriage is choosing the partner (not necessarily through love)carefully after asking about his or her background and how he or she could handle family life. Love marriages also fail due to each partner trying to be of an extra example or role model to the other, which is a fake personality.
Ahmad
Abu Dhabi,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:47

I think arranged marriages are better and more successful than love marriages.
Saj Al Deen
Sharjah,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 09:17

Show me the success in love marriages. As a matter of fact, there is around 70 per cent divorce rate in the West, which is dominant in terms of love marriage cases.
Ali
Vancouver,Canada
Posted: December 18, 2008, 08:17

This is absolutely ridiculous. I am against arranged marriages. How do we know if the girl or boy that we are marrying is a good person or if they have good attitude.
Mohammad Kadabi
Dubai,UAE
Posted: December 18, 2008, 08:09

Very soon it will be year 2009 and arranged marriage? Everyone are free to settle down with anyone of their choice even if its not going to last.
Barthelemy Tugarue
Los Angeles,USA
Posted: December 18, 2008, 07:44