Dubai: A British expat in Dubai, who was once “trapped in a downward spiral of despair that drove him to consider numbing the pain for good”, has cautioned against what he calls “the dark side of success” ahead of the World Suicide Prevention day on September 10.
Speaking to Gulf News in an exclusive interview, Manny Djornor, who runs a mental wellbeing platform called Mentality, said he first came to Dubai in 2013, when he was just 26, filled with ambition and pride, as he was the youngest to reach the post of a vice president at the company he worked for.
“But success is not always what it seems,” he warned.
“It’s easy to equate your worth with your achievements sometimes. I took on many responsibilities back home and was always proud to be a support for my family and friends. But everything changed when a series of unfortunate events left me without a job. Suddenly, the life I had built began to crumble,” he narrated.
“Friends disappeared, partners disappeared, and I found myself alone, trapped in a downward spiral of despair. I felt a profound silence, a loneliness that drove me to consider numbing the pain for good. Fortunately, I survived, but I felt a severe lack of available support, community, and awareness for people going through similar struggles,” he recalled.
The painful experience inspired him to create Mentality, an initiative dedicated to mental health awareness and support and community building.
“Initially, Mentality began as a podcast during the post-COVID period. But as the world started to reopen, it became clear that people needed more face-to-face interaction,” he claimed.
According to Djornor, the emotional struggles of men were something he felt particularly drawn to address.
“Society often teaches women to express their emotions, but men are conditioned to suppress theirs. Phrases like ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘just toughen up’ or ‘stop being like a girl’ pressure men to bury their feelings. As a result, many men struggle with emotional turmoil, especially when they are suddenly expected to express feelings as an adult they have long ignored. This cultural conditioning can lead to severe confusion and emotional distress,” he explained.
- Frequent disruptions in sleep and persistent fatigue.
- Excessive worry or fear, along with continuous sadness.
- Intense feelings of anger or irritability.
- Increased social withdrawal.
- Changes in appetite and energy levels.
- A rise in behaviours that serve as distractions, such as casual dating, excessive drinking, or other risky activities.
He said, “Embracing vulnerability is one of the strongest things a person can do—it opens the door to real growth and healing. However, vulnerability is just the beginning.”
But what happens when one acknowledges one’s feelings?
Djornor said, “It’s crucial to look inward and identify what you’re feeling. Find spaces, people and communities that offer the support you need. Equally, one must dedicate oneself to self-improvement, understanding that the world deserves YOU, in your most authentic self.”
He said the journey from despair to recovery starts with recognising that one needs help and reaching out to those who can provide it. There are many indicators that one can take cognisance of. They include frequent disruptions in sleep and persistent fatigue; excessive worry or fear, sadness, intense feelings of anger or irritability, increased social withdrawal, changes in appetite and energy levels and a rise in behaviours that serve as distractions which could include casual dating, excessive drinking or other risky activities.
Once these feelings are acknowledged, the first step towards recovery is to start talking to trusted partners, friends or family about it, he said.
“Remember, admitting you’re not okay is not a sign of weakness; it’s the first step toward healing. From there, seek professional help or find communities that offer the tools and safe spaces to support your journey toward better mental health,” said Djornor.
He said understanding and addressing mental health challenges is crucial for recovery and growth.
A proud father and husband today, Djornor said he is constantly striving to be a role model for his family and his community.
In a fervent call to action, he said, “Let’s challenge the stigma, support each other and create a community where no one feels alone in their struggles. Remember, reaching out can save a life - perhaps even your own.”
