Pursuits of 'togethering'
Pursuits of 'togethering'
When it's time to pack suitcases and head off for a vacation, Alicia Rockmore and her family think big.
They take a more-the-merrier approach, making almost 20 relatives join in for what she calls “our annual family getaway''.
“My husband, daughter and I love these vacations,'' says Rockmore, CEO of Buttoned Up, an organisational firm in Los Angeles. “It's a time for deeper interaction than a dinner here and there.''
Way to connect
Extended-family vacations such as hers are growing in popularity, travel specialists say. Although no statistics quantify the trend, the travel industry has a name for it — “togethering''.
Such trips offer a way for time-short, far-flung families to connect and forge new bonds.
Groups can include everyone from grandparents, parents and children to step-parents, in-laws, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins.
Some families vote for cruises or resorts. Others prefer tours or adventure travel. Still others keep trips low-key and low-budget by heading for state parks or lakeside cabins.
Rockmore's family begins by soliciting e-mail suggestions from everyone about preferred destinations. After they agree on a place, one person makes the reservations.
In other groups, each family makes its own reservations and pays for its own excursions and gratuities.
Just not enough
Next month, Kristi Mendez of North Aurora, Illinois, will drive with her husband and son to Rend Lake State Park in southern Illinois for a four-day weekend with 19 relatives.
“Our family gets together only for weddings and funerals,'' Kristi says. “We decided it wasn't enough.''
She reserves the lodges and then sends an e-mail giving dates and costs. Each family pays the lodge directly.
“We all get together so rarely that it doesn't really matter what we're doing,'' Mendez says.
What matters, however, for every group is having activities that suit all the generations.
Sarah Clark-Lynn of Maryland, her husband, two children and dogs returned from a vacation with 24 relatives in Deep Creek Lake.
Activities included white-water rafting, boating, swimming and cookouts. The week was so successful her husband has asked his family to meet in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.
Still, supersize vacations have their pitfalls. Some complain of too much togetherness and too little privacy.
John, a hair stylist in Boston, spent ten very long days in Florida with 12 relatives.
“It can be a nightmare if you're with people who don't like to do what you do,'' he says.
But when groups are compatible, warm memories linger.
Tips
Things to keep in mind while planning a trip
- Make plans and reservations early. This gives you more options for flights, accommodations and activities. One family always books in February for a December trip.
- Know your budgets and be sure each family knows the general costs in advance.
- Ask for large-group discounts. These are often available on cruises and at resorts. Also ask about free upgrades.
- Choose a destination that offers activities for all generations.
- Let each family take part in choosing vacation activities. Giving everyone a voice helps to keep all the group's members satisfied.
- Make a general plan so everyone knows what's on the agenda. At the same time, allow for spontaneity.
- Work out restaurant choices in advance, so there won't be last-minute disagreements about where to eat.
- Allow time for rest and privacy. Too much togetherness can be wearing.
- Be flexible and polite. This helps to avoid conflict and preserve harmony in the group.
- Enjoy the company of one another and adopt a live-and-let-live approach. Telling people how to raise their children doesn't go over very well.
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