African adventure: Safari so good

African adventure: Safari so good

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Imagine flying thousands of miles to escape the hassles of normal life and commune with raw nature – and ending up instead with noisy neighbours.

They roll back in the early hours, oblivious to those trying to sleep, carry on noisily partying and woe betide anyone calling time on their fun.

That's exactly what I got on safari in Kenya. For two nights outside my tent in the middle of the bush, starting regularly at 3am, I could hear obscene grunts and panting, and heavy bodies lurching about.

A nightmare? No, a dream come true. Rather than pulling the duvet over my head and cursing I watched the outrageous antics from the safety of my tent window.

That was because the creatures aping the behaviour of the worst kind of ‘chavs' abroad were hippos!

Fat, noisy beasts whose hygiene leaves a lot to be desired – their idea of a spa break is basking in thick mud on the side of the river bank – were frolicking only a few feet away.

As they grunted their version of Mud, glorious mud, I hadn't the nerve or inclination to ask them to pipe down. Hippos can be quite aggressive and dangerous, but being so close to them was just one of the magical moments on an adventure in the heart of one of the most spectacular game reserves in the world, the Masai Mara in Kenya.

Every year, this National Park welcomes the Great Migration – two million wildebeest, zebra, and gazelle from Tanzania in search of lush grazing.

They join the resident community of other animals, including a star cast known as the Big Five because they were the most coveted by hunters – lion, African elephant, buffalo, black rhino and leopard – and a host of lesser players from hyena to monkeys.

For the first two nights we camped at Governor's Il Moran on the banks of the River Mara in a huge tent with reassuringly solid "walls" of double-thick canvas. It came complete with electricity, king-size bed, crisp cotton sheets and en suite bathroom with a Victorian rolltop bath, shower and flushing loo.

There are only 10 tents at this intimate sanctuary, which has no fences and blends so smoothly into the environment that the wildlife feels as "at home" wandering through as paying guests. Guards are on hand at all times.

The nearby plains are a natural habitat for big cats like lions, cheetahs and leopards and the camp is a base for BBC's Big Cat Diaries crew, who venture from there daily to film.

The safari experience is like stepping out of time. And with Kenya's recent troubles calming down, you may be able to find some significant discounts.

Learn some useful swahili

  • Hello – jambo
  • Please – tafadhali
  • Thank you – asante
  • How are you? – habari yako?
  • I'm (VERY) Well – mzuri (sana)
  • No problem – hakuna matata
  • lion – simba
  • leopard – chui
  • buffalo – nyati
  • rhinoceros – kifaru
  • elephant – tembo (or ndovu)
  • giraffe – twiga
  • baboon – nyani
  • hippopotamus – kiboko

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