Pathetics of the Caribbean can claim weakest bowlers around

West Indies Just this once, we shall ignore Freddie Mercury's diktat and spare a couple of minutes for the losers from the land of his forefathers.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni's team now have plenty of time to feel as blue as their kit as they embark on two long-haul flights back home, while England, Sri Lanka, Australia and, most surprising of all, Pakistan, contest the semi-finals of the World Twenty20.

It's a measure of how pathetic they've been in the limited-overs arena in recent times that few fans, armed with rotten eggs or tomatoes, will even bother with going to the airport.

After all, how much satisfaction can be derived from hitting a sitting duck?

No one can accuse India of inconsistency. Ever since their run to the World Cup final in 2003, the team's form in global events has been a joke.

Apart from the inaugural T20 World Cup in South Africa (2007), when an inexperienced team surprised themselves as much as their opponents in a format that it had almost no experience of, India's performances have been diabolical.

Bumped before the Super Eights in the Caribbean World Cup, they have also failed to proceed to the semi-finals in the last three editions of the Champions Trophy.

Back to mediocrity

This latest Pathetics of the Caribbean display was an exact replica of the tournament in England last summer, when a perfect opening round [wins over mighty Bangladesh and Ireland] was followed by a perfect [zero] Super Eights campaign.

Is anyone surprised? Apart from the odd delusional fan in the media, you could have seen this coming from as far away as Shoaib Akhtar's run-up.

India now have strong claims to the weakest bowling unit in the one-day-Twenty20 arena, while the batting is as unbalanced as Long John Silver after a bottle of Mount Gay when confronted by bowlers who propel the ball hard into the middle of the pitch.

The fielding, so eye-catchingly good in South Africa in 2007, has regressed back to the mediocrity of old. How would it not? There are at least a couple of men in the squad who could auction for Weight Watchers' before-and-after ads given the amount of inches they've put on around the waist.

Lard might not have inhibited Colin Milburn or Inzamam-ul-Haq unduly in their pomp, but in a form of the game where fitness and agility are paramount witness the way David Warner prowls the outfield double-pillow paunches and punch-drunk reactions are inexcusable.

Ravindra Jadeja, so poor with the ball against Australia and West Indies, can thank his lucky stars for the comically inept Saeed Ajmal, or else he'd have had the Worst Fielder award to take home as well.

Momentary amnesia

Those looking for scapegoats will find them easily enough. "This is the best 15 [players] you can get in India when it comes to T20," said Dhoni after India's exit, the pain of defeat perhaps inducing momentary amnesia.

"At the end of the day if you are outplayed there is nothing much you can do about it."

Picking a proper squad would have been a good place to start.

After such a wretched exit, it's inevitable that attention will again focus on the effect of the IPL.