Basics
Taking care of children is very simple
I have two grown up children and when they were young, I and my wife looked after them differently from parents today. If you ask me, the standard has deteriorated instead of improving because everyone is so focused on social media. Many presume that the troubles that they face with parenting can be solved through online searches.
They seem to have the attitude that they can take care of their children and don’t want others’ advice. However, they don’t seem to be doing what they are supposed to do when you notice young parents nowadays.
I am from Singapore and for us, taking care of our children was very basic because we kept an eye on them all the time making sure they don’t harm themselves.
Today, social media has become part of our normal life and parents go online a lot thinking they should follow what certain accounts are posting. But in practice, they don’t follow the quick tricks that they learn from social media. There is a difference between theory and practice. However, I wouldn’t catergorise all young parents in this category. There are many parents who are good at what they do.
From Mr Sebastian Tan
Senior manager with an event management company
Good intentions
Times have changed but the concern remains
This is quite a complicated issue because a lot of things that are available today were not available 30 years ago. Parents were a little more alert, not necessarily putting their entire focus on what children were doing but just being aware of what was happening has now changed. Also, earlier there were many more extended families and bigger family sizes, so there were more people around. Now that children have to spend time on their own, with both parents working, it is natural that parents will need down time and be distracted, that is only human. Also, the UAE is quite safe and that does lull you a bit. Times and technology have changed. Back in the day you wouldn’t allow a child to touch electronic devices, afraid of a short circuit. But nowadays gadgets are so much safer, comfortably playing with mobile phones so you tend to ignore certain dangers. However, the intentions are always good as no parent wants anything bad to happen to theie children.
From Ms Sheryl Sidharth Dhas
Tender manager working in Dubai
Trust
Give them reasons, not just instructions
Old school parenting depended on the fear of the unknown. They told children to be afraid of the bogeyman because it will come and take you or eat you. Similarly, children were told of many dangers.
Todau, children can get more information and have a lot more knowledge than I would have gotten as a child. The “I told you so you have to listen” style cannot work without giving children a reason. With greater exposure and more knowledge, I can be more informed as a parent and have more certainty and my approach with handling children would also be different — more transparency and more friendship mixed with parenting and less of the “I told you so” approach.
I think that has made us better parents. My daughters are eight- and ten-years-old and I always explain things to them. So, when they have a problem or have done something wrong, they don’t need to lie or be afraid of me. Tell me, I’ll help you solve the problem. When you provide reasons for them and treat them as smart human beings, they appreciate it. It will help you build bridges of trust and hopefully it pays off well.
From Mr Mohammad Al Attar
Senior project manager living in Dubai
— Compiled by Huda Tabrez/Community Web Editor
Gulf News asked: Do you think parenting techniques have gotten worse over the years?
Yes 77%
No 23%
Have Your Say: What do you think of the issue? Share your views and join our future debates. Write to us at readers@gulfnews.com
On social media, parents young and old debated whether distracted parenting is the biggest challenge in raising children and whether semi-distracted parenting can be acceptable.
[Twitter] @jambie61: I get that parents are often tired and distracted and budgets can be an issue but it’s so important to take the time to share your children’s interests. And it means so much to children to spend time with their parents doing things that the children are interested in.
[Facebook+pic] Tammy Morris: I barely had time for a phone call when my children were little, let alone spending hours surfing and posting every five mins on Facebook with small children in the house. You know those children are being neglected and honestly it shows ... by not speaking clearly when they should be, not potty-trained at the appropriate age etc and it is sad, just really sad. Many studies show that children will pay the price in the end, not the selfish attention seeking parent.
[Facebook] EconDad: I often wear AirPods while watching my children. At times, I’m distracted in the traditional sense: daydreaming or thinking about economics (what a geek!). Other times, I’m choosing to be distracted because I’m listening to a podcast or book on tape, or maybe talking with a friend or parent on the phone. It’s not every second, but it’s frequent enough that it affects my parenting. I think of it as semi-engaged parenting, moderately present but also with some of my attention elsewhere. Is it ever okay to be semi-engaged or distracted, such as wearing headphones, when I’m around the kids? How about sometimes? Let’s talk about it …
