Selective amnesia

Have you ever had one of those moments when you wished you could undo something or unsay some words done or said in the heat of the moment?

Well, the remedy is cultivating selective amnesia so that you can plead ignorance of what has gone before. You can't be held responsible for what you can't remember.

Seeking this way out of a potentially problematic situation has been the recourse of those who have unthinkingly committed themselves to a course of action or a promise which cannot be fulfilled. Parents resort to this when reminded of something they may have said in a moment of madness or while in the throes of an inexplicable expansive mood. But those carelessly spoken words will come back to haunt them as their children will have taken them to heart, waiting for an opportune moment to make good on that promise. When the timely reminder is made, the adults pretend they have no idea what their kids are talking about.

They will deny making any such commitments such as buying the latest music gadget if such and such mark is reached in this or that subject. Then begins the "but you promised" chorus and the bitter disillusionment follows as realisation dawns that once again the parents have conveniently chosen to develop symptoms of amnesia to get out of a hole they dug themselves into.

I speak from bitter experience of the same. A pair of nephews was driving their parents round the bend with their inability to concentrate on studies just before an important final exam. They could be found doing everything but hitting their books. Their exasperated mother requested me to talk to them, hoping that the fact that I didn't live with them did away with the risk of the familiar being treated with contempt.

Pragmatic

Agreeing reluctantly but being a pragmatic being, I decided to tackle the subject cautiously. After warming up with a discussion on topics of interest to them, I suddenly changed tack. Stealthily introduced the sensitive "E" word.

The transformation from a pair of happy-go-lucky teenagers to a duo in despair happened in a trice. Mortified at my clumsy efforts to reform their study habits, my guilt conscience kicked in and I heard myself say there was a monetary award for anyone who scored a certain percentage. However, I am glad to note that my survival instincts hadn't been blunted as the score quoted seemed impossible to achieve by anyone who hadn't started studying months before the exam.

For a brief moment there was silence and then, to my dismay, I heard one of them repeat the reward figure that had dropped from my lips followed by a request to confirm the same. Being a generally truthful person, I was forced to restate the amount. That's when it struck me. In my efforts to appease them, I had gone beyond the call of duty. Named a sum which seemed like unbelievable riches even to me. But it was too late.

I comforted myself with the fact that there was no way they would get that score. So, I told myself my money was safe. What I hadn't counted on was their tenacity and the lure of lucre.

Months later, I received this ominous e-mail gleefully informing me that the scores had been reached and now it was time for the reward. That's when I tried the selective amnesia weapon but to no avail. I tried telling them that there was no way I had offered them the figure they were citing but they argued vociferously, claiming that they were two against one. In desperation I asked them for proof of the fact of their achievement which was promptly sent to me.

Defeated by numbers, the cheque was soon on its way, leaving the financier a sadder but wiser woman.