Having it both ways

This piece is a paean to all those brave souls who battle their way through traffic in their commute from one emirate to another and live to tell the tale.

The word 'tale' is an apt description of the stories that are spun every day, from the gossamer of an active imagination and one's unique perception of reality. The 'hail-fellow-well-met' routine is especially relevant when a group of like-minded Sharjah-ites get together.

They share a common history and there is an instant empathy and bonding as soon as the topic of traffic or travel comes up.

The introduction of the subject soon attracts a chorus of "the traffic was unbelievable today" and you can be sure they aren't singing its praises. This leitmotif runs through the course of every conversation like a brightly coloured thread in the tapestry of travails.

There is a patient hearing of each one's account of the rites of passage, with sympathetic shaking of the head as a particular detail strikes a chord in one's memory.

As the narrator warms up to his subject, the others wait for their turn. They have stories to tell that will make his hair curl. If he thought he had had a bad day, wait till he hears their tales of woe.

Any scepticism over certain factual inaccuracies that might have crept into the narrative are shrugged off as the others realise that soon the tables might be turned when it's time for them to take centre stage. Will their horror stories be believed?

When the actor of the moment reaches the denouement of his day, there is a clamour as everyone starts speaking simultaneously, impatient to be heard. Order is restored and the unfolding of individual dramas continues.

Each vies with the other to present a scene that tops the previous act. There is a recounting of the different routes tried even if it means doing double the distance.

If one says he took an hour and a half to reach his destination, another chimes in with a sound that sounds suspiciously like a derisive snort which gets the desired attention.

As all eyes turn towards him, he tells them that if the speaker thought that was bad, what if he told them that it took him a nightmarish three hours to arrive?

Stretching the truth to its limit, he describes his tortuous route which involved off roading, getting lost several times and finding himself miles away from where he wanted to be at a particular point in time.

Last detail

As his audience digests this last detail, he is suddenly assailed by doubt. Did he overdo it? Will they think perhaps he is exaggerating a teeny weeny bit? Are they thinking no one could possibly take so long to travel unless of course they were on foot?

But what this doubting Thomas forgets is that there are others who have tried commuting to Dubai from Sharjah or vice versa, taking unimaginable detours.

Short of travelling via Ras Al Khaimah or Abu Dhabi, depending on which direction they are heading, all the ways have been tried and tested.

The recent rains that flooded roads provided ample grist to commuters' mill, resulting in an avalanche of travellers' tales, tall or otherwise.

According to some reports, there were those who were stuck in traffic for more hours than a day can hold after deducting time presumably spent on sleeping and working.

Sadly, there are some unsympathetic souls who happen to live within close commuting distance to their place of work. You can recognise this species by the gloating look in their eyes as they are forced to listen to these heart-wrenching travelogues.

One can sense them silently thanking their lucky stars that they had had the foresight to predict such happenings and happily opted for convenience over chaos.

To them I offer my sincerest sympathy at this gap in their education which has left them bereft of material to embellish the art of story-telling.