Handshakes are overrated

Often we see two dignitaries clasping each other’s palms in a handshake that goes on and on. For the first few seconds, they look at each other while exchanging pleasantries, then they look towards the photographers while still shaking their clasped hands vertically. That is called a photo opportunity.

Being a customary requirement, they forge a smile for the benefit of the photographers. The ordinary viewer might dismiss the scene as something of no consequence. But as far as I am concerned, I feel uneasy and wish the formality to come to an end because I know that after the few initial moments, neither of the two are interested in prolonging the ritual.

After viewing such scenes again and again, I wanted to know more about handshakes, their varied forms and what a particular handshake denoted. I think if you are a bit observant you could read a person with a handshake. Are they a sincere person with no axe to grind or crafty or a bully throwing his weight about so that his infamy will reach more ears? Like a face reader, you could be a handshake reader and talk about the various personalities.

Years ago at a social gathering, a well-dressed young man came almost running towards me. “Mr ...?” he asked to confirm my identity, and then introduced himself as the city’s biggest developer. Perhaps to underscore his identity and impress me with his job profile, he squeezed my hand so hard that I thought he would crush it. On top of it, he asked me three or four times, “How are you, sir?”

I felt like telling him the truth that I was OK till the handshake took place and that now I was certainly not well and was unsafe in his hands, but modesty prevented me from saying so. Whenever I tried to pull my hand out to end the neverending handshake session he fastened his hold, as if to leave his imprint on my mind, lest I forget him.

What a great use of the art and science of handshakes that was.

In keeping with the simple rules of etiquette I had to put on a cheerful appearance despite feeling uneasy and unhappy. Like me, he was also grinning all the time, telling me how anxious he had been to meet me.

This was the time I realised that it was a salesman’s handshake. Obviously, the man was trying to make connections in the media for his business, using forceful handshakes as a tool. On the contrary, we have timid people who do it with an almost lifeless hand, which does not leave its impact. Perhaps nobody can say how and where the practice of shaking hands as a mode of greeting or bidding farewell started. There are numerous ways of greeting in different regions. For instance, in the Far East, people bow before each other, while elsewhere people touch the tips of their noses. There are many more customs such as this.

The days hugs were prevalent

For a long time, hugging was widely prevalent as a means to express joy at meeting somebody.

Hugging continues the world over. But the most accepted way of greeting people everywhere is the handshake.

Interestingly, it is practised with a gender bias in South Asian countries and, maybe, some other regions. Barring a small percentage of women belonging to the upper strata of society, other women don’t ordinarily shake hands even with women, let alone males.

After alighting from the aircraft, the Indian prime minister shakes hands with the male officials lined up to receive him. But the moment he faces an Indian woman his hands fold up in Namaste mode.

The most common practice in the Indian subcontinent is saying it with ‘Namaskar’ or ‘Namaste’ with folded hands from a safe distance, which eliminates physical contact and the possibility of contracting any infection. A bear hug is simply ruled out, unless the greeters are chums like US President Barack Obama and Narendra Modi. People in Buddhist countries also greet others with folded hands.

In many cases, the spouses of Indian VIPs avoid handshakes with male officials in host countries. But it is no problem when it comes to shaking hands with their female counterparts and other women.

Shaking hands may be a ubiquitous practice, but ask me and I would say there is nothing like a greeting with folded hands from a little distance.

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.