G*Nice: I'm feeling lost for words

Writing this article feels like the first time. The reason… I have suffered a massive writer's block, worse than any gridlock on Shaikh Zayed Road the evening before a public holiday.

The cause wasn't just a lack of inspiration - which can often be overcome by an excess of perspiration and determination to crunch words out in some sort of logical order on the keyboard.

This time it was a combination of factors, the biggest of which was unbelievable work pressure. The only thing that has saved me from the wrath of my ever-patient editors at Friday is that I stockpile articles for them for times when a famine might hit.

My days have been so mad-stressed, starting at 6am when I have to rise to take my lovely dog Cookie for her morning walk, then after breakfast for both of us, I am at work by 9am slaving away until at least 8pm, sometimes later if I go to a café and continue until the witching hours.

Throw football into that mix, which is my stress-reliever, and some bug out time when I finally get home, and I don't see my pillow again until 2am. Imagine that for six months and maybe it will help you understand why I have recently neglected my MacBook when it comes to my inane weekly nonsense.

Being very honest with you, I have made moves towards the keyboard on numerous occasions over the past weeks but at the last minute I pull back… like a vampire recoiling at a necklace of garlic. The reason being that my mind couldn't think of making the switch from stressed work mode to the frivolous carefree mindset I need to spin out my stuff here for you. For me the biggest problem that I have with producing this column is that I need a slither of something that I want to chat about… and as you know I can survive with the smallest, most slithery slither and produce 650 words about it.

Even those slithers have been in short supply of late but by way of a finish I have at least something for you.

It surprises me that in the movies, the secret agents are more often than not men. One of the key attributes that one needs to be a secret agent is I guess the ability to maintain "secrets". There is a simple, everyday test for this that I think proves that most men are more 00Zero than 007. It's our computer passwords, homeboys… dead giveaways! I am gonna make a prediction that most of us go with the name of wives or girlfriends… Or if relevant, kid's names. No, I don't have any mystical predictive powers, I just think that we are so obvious. In addition, we are so mindful of forgetting our passwords that much like our bad habits we refuse to change them.

Trust me, there is nothing worse than having to explain the complete non-relevance of an ex's name as a password to a current flame. This didn't happen to me you understand, it was a close friend. Honest.

Back-in-black-ingly Yours
  G*Nice

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