G*Nice: How do we define 'cool'?

It's been a while since I really challenged you with something. A recent letter from Shwetha S raised a humdinger of an issue for us to chew on.

Ms SS was chatting to me about school and stuff and raised the point that "now you need to be cool and not called a nerd" which poses a big question for all of us to ponder. How do we define "cool"? To really address this question, we have to try to isolate the meaning of "cool" from all other influencing factors. For all the teenagers out there, trying to find their place within the social hierarchy of school, the issue is very rarely about a quest for "coolness" and more about trying to "fit in". As much as these things seem to be intrinsically linked when one is a teenager, the truth is that they are actually poles apart.

"Fitting in" generally means, "conforming" to the social norms, which is the absolute opposite of the true essence of "coolness." Don't get me wrong, I understand and remember the pressure to be part of the popular set at school, sometimes for the purpose of blending in and attracting as little real attention as possible, rather than standing out as some sort of influential beacon to others.

And as a teenager I do remember the feeling of needing the validation of my peers on whatever level to get some sort of understanding about who I was in relation to them, and within the smallness that was my universe. There is so much pressure at that age as I remember it, with the expectation and rules of parents trying so desperately to inspire us to work hard at our studies to better prepare us for the life that is so far away and way beyond our comprehension.

So all a teenager has is his/her little world to make sense of and to feel that there is a space within that world for them. There will always be social groups that are perceived as being "cool" but one will often find that it is a label that they have given themselves and made a reality through strength in numbers, or the financial means to surround themselves with the trinkets that are often given the false power of radiating "coolness".

By way of an example, I will proclaim a millionaire who carries himself like the rest of us is far "cooler" than one who uses that money to surround himself with bling and the belief that he is somehow above us. From Messi to Madonna, Lady GaGa to Tupac, all these luminaries rose from absolutely nothing and expressed their individual talent and flair against the tide of the average players in their fields and became somewhat iconic as a result.

So to bring all the elements together, true "coolness" could be seen as a characteristic that comes not from what we can afford to buy for ourselves or by being the same as everybody else. There is also a good argument to say that "coolness" is not a visible attribute of a person but more about what lies within.

It's borne from being an individual who tries to define himself/herself on his/her own terms, and ultimately one who can embrace the principle that "it ain't where you from, it's where you at!"

Still Chill-ingly Yours