An Indian airline threw out a doctor from a flight and threatened to book him under terrorism charges when he complained of mosquitoes in the cabin.
No, I am not making this up and I know this is the age of fake news, but if you remember some time back a security officer dragged out a screaming doctor from his seat in an American airline and down the aisle as horrified co-passengers watched.
There seems to be a real synergy between airlines and this noble profession that sets off cabin crew snorting like a bull in a Spanish hacienda.
The Indian doctor was dragged off the plane and as he stood on the tarmac wondering whether he was dreaming, a cabin crew member walked up to him and warned him that he better sign a letter of apology or they will not allow him to board this flight.
The doctor said in the many TV channel interviews later that he travels between cities performing surgeries to serve his fellow countrymen, but I am not sure how he was serving his country by scaring fellow passengers about mosquitoes in a plane.
Hollywood had done one better by making a movie simply called Snakes on a Plane with the actor Samuel L. Jackson, who looks deranged most of the time and who says some of the craziest things in real life.
Anyway, the doctor refused to apologise saying it was the airline that was at fault, so they bumped him off the flight.
I can imagine the plight of the airline crew, because in polite Indian society there are three things that you do not say aloud — traffic, mosquitoes… and ATMs. People know these things exist but they ignore them or one can get some serious anxiety issues if you even think about them.
An ATM is a wonderful invention, you don’t need to stand in a queue and slide over a cheque across the bank teller’s window anymore. You are given a plastic card which is something like your Aadhar card or identity card, and the machine recognises you, knows how much money you have in the bank and that this is a joint account with your wife, and dispenses all the cash you wish.
But the ATMs, like someone’s uncle who is a diamond dealer, have been acting up lately and refusing to give people their cash, their wealth that they had accumulated from all these years, which is leading to a lot of heartache, anguish and scariness.
“I, I…,” says husband, sobbing. “Can’t get our money from the bank. The ATM has not been calibrated says the manager.”
Angry-looking rash
“Whatever does that mean? Here, sit down and sip some water,” says the wife.
“Is it R/O (reverse osmosis) water or from the tap?” asks the husband.
Anyway, a few days after returning from a trip to Delhi, I felt unusually exhausted and saw red rashes sprout all over my body. The rashes were extremely itchy and my body temperature spiked. A quick run to the doctor and she said the dreaded ‘D’ word, Dengue, and asked for a blood test to check my platelets count.
Luckily, the Dengue serum showed negative and the platelet count was low but not so low to be serious.
Now every evening I dress up for mosquitoes. First, I put on my socks and then my full-sleeve vest that covers my arms. The vest colour should be bright, not black as dark colour attracts the skeeters. I lather on a natural mosquito repellent on my face and ears and sit down to enjoy the TV show.
Next time I go flying, I plan to take the mosquito repellent, rightly named as Odomos, with me. Or, I will carry a frog with me as they love tasty, dengue mosquitoes.
Mahmood Saberi is a storyteller and blogger based in Bengaluru, India. Twitter: @mahmood_saberi
